WTFwithJOHNMCINTIRE

MR. MAN-ON-DOG SCREWED THE POOCH

2012-02-29T07:28:00.011-08:00

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THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

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This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

He was hiding in plain sight. And it was working. It wasn't an emerging pro-Santorum vote. It was an emerging anti-Mittens surge. People don't think Mittens McFilthyrich understand their problems.

Who could understand? Perhaps the "grandson of a coal miner."

But he stopped being the grandson of a coal miner. And he started being Rick Santorum. Sticky Ricky McGoogle his own self, Mr. Man-Oh-Man-On-Dog, totally screwed the pooch.

He out nutbagged the nutbags.

Contraception! That's a big, current, totally relevant issue... NOT.

Why talk about it? Nobody cares. Nobody, except sex-obsessed puritanical theocratic bags o' douche.

If you say bizarre things people are going to think you're bizarre.

Will this nutbag wake up and smell the obvious? That is, realize that if he keeps saying stupid things people are going to think he's Rick Santorum! And hence, not vote for him! 'Cause the nutbags who vote don't really want to vote for a nutbag.

'Cause they don't know that they're nutbags. They think they're principled "real" Americans. They want a man of conviction and "principle." Not a crazy MoFo who says bizarre shit.

But look! Repentance from Sticky Rick! Or at least, regret.

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election-2012/rick-santorum-i-regret-john-f-kennedy-speech-religion-made-throw-article-1.1030358?localLinksEnabled=false
Rick Santorum probably wishes he could turn back time.

The Republican presidential candidate said he regrets saying a 1960 John F. Kennedy speech on religion made him want to throw up.

"I wish that I had that particular line back," the former Pennsylvania Senator — who's also a Catholic — admitted on the Laura Ingraham radio show on Tuesday.

Santorum, who came in second place to Mitt Romney in Arizona and Michigan's primaries Tuesday night, came under fire from critics after he ripped the legendary democrat's speech on separation of church and state earlier this week.

"The idea that the church can have no influence or no involvement in the operation of the state is absolutely antithetical to the objectives and vision of our country," he told ABC News. "To say that people of faith have no role in the public square? You bet that makes me want to throw up."

Put aside that virtually nobody is clamoring for a Santorum lead theocracy where none of us have sex just because it's fun, we only do it to make babies.

Makes him want to "throw up"? Who talks like that? NOT Presidential candidates. Sticky McGoogle delivered this confession on the radio to Laura Ingraham, a classic talk radio right wing bag o' nut.

Even veteran nutbagettes understand that saying bizarre shit = people thinking you're bizarre. And she chastised the would-be hero o' da nutbags.

NEW YORK DAILY NEWS:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/election-2012/rick-santorum-i-regret-john-f-kennedy-speech-religion-made-throw-article-1.1030358?localLinksEnabled=false
"I mean, as a Catholic, he's a revered president of the United States, assassinated, I probably wouldn't have gone down that road with JFK and I was going to throw up. We generally don't want to hear presidential candidates talking about throwing up at all in any context."

Santorum said he "would have to agree with that," but continued to defend the bulk of his remarks — throwing a jab at President Obama.

"While there were certainly some very important things and good things [JFK\] said in that, there were some things that triggered in my opinion the privatization of faith and I think that's a bad thing."

Some historians argue JFK gets way too much credit for being a good President. I'm in the "he avoided nuclear war during the Cuban Missile Crisis, and that's pretty damn good to me" camp.

But regardless of whether you think he was a mediocre rich kid who got lucky, or chose his enemies wisely (difficult to cozy up to Tricky Dick), or whether you're bothered by his seemingly daily dalliances (Fiddle-Faddle Dee Dee!), millions of Americans, and millions of Catholic Americans, very much revere John Fitzgerald Kennedy. (See Video below for amazingly accurate historical reenactment of JFK and his 19 year old intern).

So you don't piss on Kennedy's grave for no reason whatsoever, except to alert the media and the country that you're still a nutbag after all these years.

A month ago they didn't know who Ricky was, he declared last night, but "they do now." Yes, you f'ing idiot. They DO know who you are now. And that's why you lost.

By the way faith IS private for a lot of people. No one is restricting your First Amendment right to hear your religion on your sweater vest adorned sleeves. There have been ZERO restrictions on the Freedom of Religion under Barry Hussein (and don't even try to bring up that phony fight about contraception. NOBODY is forcing ANYONE who doesn't want contraception to take it against their will. Everyone has the FREEDOM to follow their religious tenets. Though why anyone with a vagina would want to belong to a religion that treats women as second class citizens is beyond me. But that's me).

So you lost by being the pious platitudinous puking putz you are. You snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. You alienated voters by being yourself, by being oddly out of step with what people care about, by talking about shit which is on virtually nobody's mind.

I wonder if any of the blah people voted for you.

Here's a blah people columnist. He, too, is repulsed by your nutbaggery.

CHICAGOTRIBUNE.COM - CLARENCE PAGE
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/ct-oped-0229-page-20120229,0,6374176.column
But Santorum wasn't about to let mere facts get in the way of his reverse snobbery or his conspiracy theories: "Oh, I understand why he wants you to go to college," Santorum said. "He wants to remake you in his image. I want to create jobs so people can remake their children into their image, not his."

The fact is, as Clarence points out, Obama has NEVER said he wants EVERYONE to go to college. "Although the president has urged Americans to pursue some schooling or vocational training beyond a high school degree, he has not said that he wants everyone to go to college."

The bizarre part is that Barack Obama wants to remake you in his image. Like Obama thinks he's Jesus. And we all know which freakin' candidate thinks he's Jesus.

What kind of a wacko conspiracy theory posits that the Commander In Chief wants to "remake" you into "his image"????

It is beyond nutbaggery. Beyond bizarre. Beyond the pale. Beyond the pale face of the increasingly creepy strange dude on parade that is Sticky Ricky McGoogle.

How did this guy EVER get elected to ANYTHING?

All JFK was saying is that he wouldn't take orders from the Pope. Sounds like all Sticky Rick would do is phone the Vatican hotline for instructions. JFK called for religious tolerance. He didn't say what Rick said he said. But the hallmark of the modern GOP nutbag Prez candidate is the right to just make shit up. To just pull something out of his ass. So to speak. And ol' Frothy Mix has made up shit coming out of his ass to spare. As we know.

Nearly everything I see on the innertubes is trashing Sticky Rick for being a bonehead who gave away victory.

But there is one attempt at helping Mr. McGoogle, from soft hearted Washington Post blogger.

WASHINGTONPOST.COM - JENNIFER RUBIN:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/post/santorum-should-ignore-the-spin-reshape-his-agenda/2012/02/29/gIQArYw8hR_blog.html
If he is smart, he’ll regroup and learn an important lesson: He won’t win the nomination talking about every social position that pops into his head, most especially if it is phrased in terms that put off average voters. He is, after all, running for the presidency of a country of people with incredibly diverse religious views and even quite a number of people with little if any religious attachments.

They key phrase there is "If he is smart." After the Michigan debacle, that's a BIG "IF."

Man, oh man on dog, did Sticky Ricky Screw the pooch.

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OMG! IT'S SANTORUM-JESUS!

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ORAL SEX WITH JFK, HIS INTERN, AND SOCK PUPPETS "YOU ARE THERE" - watch more funny videos

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barack Obama is on food stamps? Jesus. - watch more funny videos

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTHING RUINS A CAR RADIO SINGALONG MORE THAN A HOMELESS GUY. - watch more funny videos

STAY TUNED FOR DETAILS OF ACLU FUNDRAISER HOSTED BY MOI! MARCH 16TH! FAIRMONT HOTEL, PITTSBURGH PA!

Next show Saturday March 24th, Cabaret Theater 655 Penn Ave. Downtown Pittsburgh - SEX, DRUGS, AND RICK SANTORUM! 10:30 PM! STAY TUNED FOR DETAILS!

THE PARTY OF BATSHIT

2012-02-28T05:27:00.005-08:00

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER
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SEE MY WORK ON CNN/MSNBC
http://www.talentdynamics.com/talent/talent-signup.cfm?page=video

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

Rick Santorum says Satan is attacking America. At first, I thought he was batshit.

Then I realized, of course he's batshit. But he's right.

How do we know?

Because Rick Santorum is winning the GOP nomination fight, and hence, theoretically, has a chance to be President.

What more diabolically clever plan could ol' Beelzebub hatch than to put a theocratic bag o' douche in the White House? It's positively brilliant, in an evil sort of way.

So thanks for the heads up, Sticky Rick! As we've mentioned, Sticky Rick has his head so far up his ass he can't tell the trees from the Santorum.

Ol' Frothy Mix says Barack Hussein is a "snob" since he wants kids to go to college.

Just. Plain. Fucking. Stupid.

Sticky Rick McGoogle has power. He has the power to take the party of Lincoln, and turn it into the party of Batshit.

If Sticky Rick was a superhero, he would be Batshit.

I wonder if he'd be doing the Boy Wonder?

For now Boy Wonder Bread continues to amaze and confuse with his frothy batshittery.

You can't swing a dead cat without running into a Sticky Rick McGoogle dumbass quotation.

Reading old JFK speeches about the separation of Church and State makes him want to "throw up" ??????????????????????????

Amateurish. Junior High School rhetoric. Weird. Stupid.

Classic Rick.

If Rick were a tired old FM rock n' roll format, he'd be classic Rick.

Obama and Hillary talk about "freedom of worship" instead of "freedom of religion" says Sticky Rick. He says what they're really saying is you can worship in the house of worship, but you can't wear your religion on your sleeve elsewhere.

Moronic. Nobody takes away Sticky's freedom of speech which allows him to wear his dumbass belief on his sleeves. It's like his snot is his religion, he wipes it all over his sleeves (hence, the sweater vest... more sleeve for the sleaze), and then wants to share a taste with you.

But now Captain Coo-Coo has a chance to make history. He can take his party and drive it right over the cliff.

He can totally discredit the GOP to an entire new generation of voters.

Unfortunately, this country has enough batshitters to nominate a fool like Sticky McGoogle.

Thankfully, we're a bit short on batshitters in terms of actually electing one of these nuts on parade to the Presidency.

The PG's Tony Norman wisely warned us recently, in a "be careful what you wish for" piece, stating the premise that in these trying times, the batshitters could actually win.

Batshit! The independent women offended by Sticky Rick's insistence that they get barefoot and preggers pronto, and that they'd better damn well NOT have sex if it's just for fun, will turn Sticky into the landslide loser he was destined to be in 2006 PA, only this time, it will be on a deliciously humiliating national scale.

Sticky Rick has been Barry, Barry, Goldwater to me. Only Barry had a brain and he wasn't a bigot.

On Morning Joe the host laments that all of his affluent buddies keep asking, "what the hell's wrong with our party?" What's wrong with your party? You've gone plum loco. You've been hijacked by yahoos. You let the extremism of nutbags captivate the coo-coo's, and there is no shortage of cocoa puffs in your gaggle of goobers.

So make some history tonight. Let Stick Rick prevail in Michigan. Swing from the perfectly tall treetops. Scream it from the mountaintops. Let all who are within the sound of your voice know the truth: Batshit is the new normal. GOP is the new batshit!

Stop the pretense of pretending to be fiscally conservative and socially responsible. Embrace your inner nutbag. Give up the ghost of pretending to be credible.

Let your geek flag fly.

Religion in the public square?

No, Religion FROM the public square.

Sticky Ricky McGoogle is the perfect personification of the Public Square.

He'll save us from fun sex. He'll save us from a world in which Religion does not run the guv-ment.

He does not play his cards close to the sweater vest. He's full on batshit for all the world to smell.

Way to go GOP. Congrats! You've done your country proud!

Satan is attacking the United States.

If Satan had a Jesus, it would be Sticky Ricky McGoogle.

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OMG! IT'S SANTORUM-JESUS!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

ORAL SEX WITH JFK, HIS INTERN, AND SOCK PUPPETS "YOU ARE THERE" - watch more funny videos

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barack Obama is on food stamps? Jesus. - watch more funny videos

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTHING RUINS A CAR RADIO SINGALONG MORE THAN A HOMELESS GUY. - watch more funny videos

SHIT OL' FROTHY MIX SAYS

2012-02-20T09:47:00.000-08:00

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SEE MY WORK ON CNN/MSNBC
http://www.talentdynamics.com/talent/talent-signup.cfm?page=video

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

Once again epic cartoonist Tom Tomorrow nails it.

http://dailykos.com/

This will be my last bloggering for a week or so. Because there really isn't much new to say and there won't be until we find out if ol' Frothy Mix wins Motown, and the rest of that state that has become so infamous for its trees of perfection (not to short, not too tall... just right).

The vote is Tuesday, Feb. 28. Until then, barring unforeseen antics of some very public assholes, there will be a lot of blah, blah, blah. And you know how old Frothy Mix feels about Blah people.

So, let's review.

The party of Lincoln has devolved into the party of Ol' Frothy Mix. Has there ever been an important public entity once so respected that is now so reviled? I mean, is there a bigger joke on the national stage than Sticky Ricky McGoogle?

This field is beyond embarrassing. It's actually bizarre. I mean not just laughable, but super duper strange. The GOP has entered the twilight zone, and even Rod Serling can't figure out how this will end, or how this crazy scenario came to be.

How is Sticky Rick challenging Barack Hussein about "theology?" Then, in a typical Orwellian night is day dogs and cats living together mass hysteria fashion, he says he wasn't criticizing the President's religious beliefs?

Yeah. Right. Why would we think he was questioning Obama's religious beliefs just because he used the word "theology," which he further said wasn't based on the Bible.

You just want to find him and puke all over his disgusting sweater vest.

And how bizarre has Mittens become? Seriously, I know he's been ridiculed for his trees are just the right height comment. But that comment is truly bizarre. It's not something a normal human being would say.

Romney may be the classic one percenter from central casting. But he's also just plain fucking weird. I don't mean for a Presidential candidate. I mean for a human being. I'm not completely convinced he's not a robot. But even robots aren't THAT stiff.

Crazy Grampa Paul is the kookiest kooky bird who's ever flown the coop.

And New Booty Newtie's baggage finally caught up with him. It's hard to get the womens' vote when you leave your first wife on her cancer death bed and your second wife after you find out she's got multiple sclerosis. Which isn't nearly as much fun as multiple wives.

I betcha Calista has a "severe" exercise regimen. This is one relationship in which one wants to stay HEALTHY.

But let's get back to Sticky McGoogle. There isn't enough space on the innertubes to adequately document his bizarro bullshit. But a recent example has stuck with me. Maybe you've heard about it.

It's the time when Ol' Frothy Mix informs CNN that a rape baby is a gift from God.

A rape baby is a gift from God.

A rape baby is a gift from God.

My God. Well, not my God. My God doesn't give rape babies. He gives fruit baskets and fruitcakes. So he must have given us all these GOP a-holes.

But getting back to the crazy shit Ol' Frothy Mix says, here it is:

SFGATE.COM:
http://blog.sfgate.com/sfmoms/2012/01/24/rick-santorum-rape-babies-are-gifts-from-god/
Morgan pressed Santorum on the issue and asked how the right-wing candidate would feel if his daughter came to him begging for an abortion after being raped. Santorum said, “I think the right approach is to accept this horribly created — in the sense of rape — but nevertheless a gift in a very broken way, the gift of human life, and accept what God has given to you.” He added that rape victims ought to “make the best of a bad situation.”

Sticky says he'd try to talk his daughter into keeping the rape baby, the gift, from, you know, the Big Fella.

What's that conversation like?

"Yes honey, I realize you were brutally raped. And sure, there are going to be some psychological consequences and all. And yes you are growing the product of a violent misogynistic sadistic evil creep from hell inside you. But hey, that's the kind of crazy gifts God bestows on the lucky few, you lucky little devil you? I mean, the devil is growing inside you. Just try to relax and enjoy it! Oh, and don't forget to thank God! "

Jesus. It's been observed by feminists and men with a conscience millions of times, but once again, I enjoy stating the obvious.

And the obvious is that if men had babies abortion wouldn't be safe, rare, and legal. There would be abortion clinics on every corner and all health insurance would cover it.

Men just want to control women's bodies. Well, not men. Republican men.

They know best. Women are just here to create more humans. Other than that, they're really not particularly useful. That is the mindset. It's abhorrent. It's anachronistic. It's inexcusable. It's backward. It's ridiculous. It's Santorum. And it's frothy.

I still want Sticky Rick to win because Obama would wipe the floor with him (and it can be hard to clean the Santorum off the floor without some staining). But on the other hand the fact that such a sexist jackass could achieve national prominence on any level doesn't say anything good about the current state of affairs in the United States of America.

Jesus.

Maybe we should just let the nuts take over.

Oh, the GOP already did that.

Frothy/Newtie 2012!

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

OMG! IT'S SANTORUM-JESUS!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

ORAL SEX WITH JFK, HIS INTERN, AND SOCK PUPPETS "YOU ARE THERE" - watch more funny videos

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barack Obama is on food stamps? Jesus. - watch more funny videos

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

NOTHING RUINS A CAR RADIO SINGALONG MORE THAN A HOMELESS GUY. - watch more funny videos

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

OCCUPY BOOBIES

Boobies. Are. Our. Friends.

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GENERATION WARS PODCAST WITH JOHN AND GAB

Governor Sam Brownback is remarkable. Sure the Chief Executive of Kansas is a typical right wing yahoo, but he knows when to cut his losses. After an 18 year old tweeted that he "sucks," and his staff of Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers (just go with the mixed metaphor) tracked her down and demanded an apology, he backed off.

In fact he has now apologized and recognized that Free Speech Rules, Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers drool!

Plus, do young people give a flying petunia about political sex scandals?

And is MJ the last superstar? These and other scintillating questions are answered in titillating fashion in the brand spankin' new Generational Wars Podcast.

Click (THE LINK, NOT THE TITLE).
Dig. Tell your friends. Tell your enemies.

GENERATIONAL WARS - MEAN MILLENNIAL INSULTS BOOMER GOVERNOR!
http://alonetone.com/gabbonesso/tracks/episode-05-generational-wars

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JOHN AND GAB STANDUP COMEDY COMING!

STAY TUNED FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS ON UPCOMING SHOWS!

CLOSE YOUR LEGS YOU SEX CRAZED SLUTBAG!

2012-02-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER
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SEE ME ON FUNNYorDIE.COM
http://www.funnyordie.com/search/a?utf8=%E2%9C%93&q=johnmcintire&x=6&y=13

SEE MY WORK ON CNN/MSNBC
http://www.talentdynamics.com/talent/talent-signup.cfm?page=video

email me at johnmcintire@comcast.net

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

What kind of enlightened millionaires are supporting the noble crusade of one Rick Santorum, aka Sticky Ricky McGoogle?

FORBES.COM:
http://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinehoward/2012/02/16/aspirin-between-the-knees-most-cost-effective-birth-control-says-santorum-freiss/
Foster Friess is both a head-turner and head-scratcher. He’s the millionaire money-man largely financing GOP presidential candidate Rick Santorum’s super PAC, the Red, White and Blue Fund. He’s also the guy who can’t resist offering a punchline with a straight face on national television about a serious women’s health and political issue.

In an interview today with NBC’s Andrea Mitchell, he revealed a way of looking at birth control that is playing economical with reality.

"This contraception thing. My gosh it's so, it's such inexpensive. You know back in my days they used Bayer aspirin for contraception. The gals put it between their knees and it wasn't that costly."

The gals put it between their knees. And it wasn't that costly.

Where to begin. Wow. Can't stop laughing, can't stop head shaking.

Let's just state the obvious (we're really good at that). This is just a blathering, blithering, babbling ignorant millionaire. Just because you make money doesn't mean you're not a fucking idiot. Clearly, this guy is a fucking idiot.

Foster Friess. Yes, it sounds like a Batman character.

And clearly, when Foster Friess was young, he wasn't getting laid. No one wants to do the dirty deed with this level of douchebag. Well somebody does, 'cause he has kids. Chicks dig money. But it's hard to get laid when you're a major league hall of fame Mount Rushmore level douchebag.

Secondly, this represents more than just a dumb joke from an out of touch ass clown.

It represents the kind of conservative thinking that dominates the kind of imbecile who supports Rick Santorum.

Somewhere in Pittsburgh the manufacturers of Bayer aspirin are smiling.

I think.

Does it work with Tylenol?

NEWSFLASH FOR FREAKS WITH MAJOR LEAGUE SEXUAL HANGUPS

I've got a newsflash for ya! Sex is fun. And it should be enjoyed. And idiots who believe sex should only be reserved for making babies are foolish chowderheads.

Heads o' chowder, I tell ya!

And of course, contraception means fewer abortions. But if you were hypnotized as a small child to believe that the Lard Thy Gawd does NOT want you to enjoy sex if you're not making babies, and if when you actually grew up and developed a brain you weren't developed enough to realize that notion is a big fat load of bull doogie, well, Gawd help ya.

CHARGES OF CREEPINESS CREEP INTO STICKY RICKY'S CREEPO CAMPAIGN

I just heard Rick Santorum say on Fox news that Foster, in his words "he's not creepy." When you have to defend major campaign supporters as to whether or not they are creepy... when the creepy quotient enters the language of debating your candidacy and its legitimacy... I'll just say Sticky Ricky McGoogle and his merry band of moronic misfits are bunch of funny ass fucks.

But then funny ass is what they're all whipped up about. And it's a frothy whip, to be sure.

The level of not currently inhabiting this planet that you have to achieve to say something as stupid as an aspirin between your knees is as out there as New Booty Newtie's Moon colony. (I'm still going, and I'm still running for Moon Vice-President).

But what does this say about our boy Sticky Rick? It says he's as scary as you already know he is. Only scarier.

BOSTONHERALD.COM:
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/us_politics/view/20120217on_birth_control_rick_santorum_out_of_step_with_nation/srvc=home&position=recent
— Santorum: Says he wouldn’t try to take away the pill or condoms. But he believes states should be free to ban them if they want. He argues that the Supreme Court erred when it ruled in 1965 that Americans have a right to privacy that includes the use of contraceptives. Birth control, even within marriage, violates his beliefs as a Catholic.

Please, Ladies and Germs who think of yourself as "independents." I beg of you. You cannot vote for someone this crazy, this far out of the mainstream, and frankly, this plain and simple fucking ridiculous.

We have no right to privacy? We have no right to privacy? Wow. Whoa.

STATES SHOULD BE FREE TO BAN THEM IF THEY WANT?????

As I've pointed out before, don't be fooled by his phony baloney "these are my beliefs but I won't impose them on you" crap. If he thinks states ought to be able to ban them, that's scary enough. Some idiot in South Dakota is already developing the legislation, mark my words. Better yet, mark Sticky Ricky's words.

BOSTONHERALD.COM:
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/us_politics/view/20120217on_birth_control_rick_santorum_out_of_step_with_nation/srvc=home&position=recent

Last year Santorum told the Christian blog Caffeinated Thoughts that as president he would warn the nation about "the dangers of contraception" and the permissive culture it encourages. "Many of Christian faith have said, ’Well, that’s OK. Contraception is OK,’" he said. "It’s not OK. It’s a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be. ... If it’s not for purposes of procreation, then you diminish this very special bond between men and women." Santorum has campaigned on a pledge to end all federal funding of birth control, which low-income women in some states receive through the state-federal Medicaid program.

Apparently we need Sticky Ricky's permission to have sex just for the fun of it. Hey Sticky Rick! I have sex. Just for fun. Just for the hell of it. Just for the mere pleasure of it. I'm not some lunatic that believes Gawd Almighty Jaysus is going to smite me straight to H-E-Double-Toothpicks. Seriously Dude, how does a dangerously delusional douche like you get anyone with half a brain to take you the slightest bit seriously.

I have a very special bond with my girlfriend. It is in fact enhanced by recreational, rather than procreational, sex. You're one of the biggest Goddamn idiots to ever achieve national prominence in any respect. It is a testament to the scary level of idiocy in this country that you have a platform beyond yelling at passersby in the town square in a sweater vest.

Even rank and file Catholics don't believe your nonsense.

Oh, and thanks for trying to kill federal funding for birth control so more poor women can get pregnant and have the abortions you claim to hate.

Seriously, how delusional does one have to be to believe that one day, when one is anointed to the Presidency of the YahooNited States, that HE will just convince men and women to stop having sex, unless it's baby makin' time?

But this idiot is just getting started with his idiocy. He thinks women should stay home. Seriously. We're talking genuine died in the wool backward jackass anachronistic outmoded dumbassery of the highest order.

BOSTONHERALD.COM:
http://news.bostonherald.com/news/us_politics/view/20120217on_birth_control_rick_santorum_out_of_step_with_nation/srvc=home&position=recent
"For some parents, the purported need to provide things for their children simply provides a convenient rationalization for pursuing a gratifying career outside the home." He described it as a sad situation created by "radical feminists" who undermined the traditional family by "convincing women that professional accomplishments are the key to happiness.

The colossal gall of this asswipe. Do you know how difficult it is for either a man or a woman to find a decent paying job these days? Providing "things" for their chiildren? How about a freaking college education you dipshit? Those costs are beyond stratospheric and for most families only a two income situation is going to pull that off.

But you are stuck in black and white Beaver Cleaverville.

And it sounds like you'd like to cake a cleaver to every beaver that ain't makin' babies.

You don't have to be a "radical feminist" to want to go out and share your talents with the world, and help earn a decent standard of living for you and your family, you delirious douche.

I'm torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool.

I'd live for Mittens to get the nod, because he's such a geek and Obama would mop the floor with him. But if the economy went all double dip on our asses, that could change.

However, Sticky Ricky McGoogle GUARAN-FREAKING-TEES a second Obama term. Because he'd be the biggest ass clown to ever get either party's nomination. And even your average American could figure that out.

Party on Sticky Rick! You can't destroy the country but you could very well destroy the credibility of your party for many years to come.

Don't forget to bring New Booty Newtie along for the ride!

FROTHY/NEWTIE 2012! NUTBAGS YOU CAN BELIEVE IN!
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OMG! IT'S SANTORUM-JESUS!

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ORAL SEX WITH JFK, HIS INTERN, AND SOCK PUPPETS "YOU ARE THERE" - watch more funny videos

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Barack Obama is on food stamps? Jesus. - watch more funny videos

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NOTHING RUINS A CAR RADIO SINGALONG MORE THAN A HOMELESS GUY. - watch more funny videos

STAY TUNED FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS ON UPCOMING SHOWS!

WORLD GONE PLUM LOCO

2012-02-16T07:43:00.000-08:00

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THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

The weirdest thing about these amazingly weird times is sober, serious journalists and other observers writing about them as if things make sense. As if this is normal.

Have you noticed how many things are just plain out of whack that we now, somehow, regard as par for the course?

For example...

*One of the leading GOP Presidential candidates once announced that he had "found" weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

THINKPROGRESS.ORG:
http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2006/06/21/5918/santorum-wmd/
Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) took to the microphone today to announce a shocking discovery — that WMD have been found in Iraq:
"Congressman Hoekstra and I are here today to say that we have found weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, chemical weapons. “

*Um, the Pentagon (you know, those guys in charge of searching for WMDs) came out shortly thereafter and said, um, no, Rick. No. You didn't find them. We didn't find them. And neither did you.

*So what's crazy? That this guy could say something so utterly ridiculous, so easily and properly ridiculed, and STILL have a chance to win the GOP Presidential nomination a few years later. How is that normal?

*Mittens is very likely going to be beaten in his home state of Michigan, where his Dad was a big shot auto industry guy AND a popular governor. And yet, Mittens looks likely to lose. To an absolute clown who says crazy shit (see above). How is that normal?

*Mittens believes the way to win in Michigan is to blast Barack Hussein for the auto industry bailout. Whioh, um, saved, THOUSANDS of jobs. So, um, it's very popular in Michigan. Since, um, you know, people like jobs and stuff. Paychecks. Security. Something to do. And yet Mittens thinks this is the way to go. How is that normal?

*Despite hypnotized Catholic Mika of the Morning Joe crew saying it's OK for Sticky Ricky McGoogle to be opposed to contraception as long as he doesn't propose outlawing it, clearly the mere opposition to it is plum loco. Yes, the Catholic Church, in this case, is plum loco, and completely out of step with its own flock. So yes, just being opposed to it, is crazy. Yet the MSM treats this with kid gloves. Preposterous notions somehow allegedly deserve respect IF they're RELIGIOUS preposterous notions. How is that normal?

*How is it normal that Mr. Sweater Vest said states should be able to outlaw contraception (oops Mika, there goes an actual POLICY statement), and people don't go freakin' crazy over that kind of crazy nutbaggery? How is that normal?

*How is it normal that a guy who got CREAMED by 18 points in his last attempt at reelection, largely because the residents of PA were completely sick and tired of his theocratic crazy bullshit... how is it normal that HE argues that HE'S the guy who can beat Obama in states like PA.... when PA voted for GORE, KERRY AND OBAMA, even in the years when Sticky Rick won? How is that argument considered sound and credible? How is it that we're not just laughing hysterically at this hysteria? How is all of this normal?

*How is it that a lightweight like Sticky McGoogle is one of two people who could be the nominee? When, even with rose colored glasses, the best you can possibly say about Sticky Rick was uttered by Ross Douthat of the NYT.

NYT.COM ROSS DOUTHAT:
http://campaignstops.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/14/rick-santorums-pincer-movement/?hp
Not a bad actor, but a decent guy in way over his head, and thus not chief executive material.

*SO not Chief Executive Material. Unless you're running the Nuthouse. And maybe these days, you are.

*Camptown ladies sing this song, Douthat, Douthat.

*How is it normal that the conservative Heritage Foundation originally authored the "individual mandate" found in Romneycare and Obama's Affordable Health Act, and it was championed initially by people like Bob Dole... how is it normal that now they act like it's the worst idea in the world? It was their idea! Now they hate it? And this is normal, how?

*How is it that so many Americans are so f'in stupid and use the stupidest reasons imaginable to make their stupid decisions on who to vote for. Take Megadeath frontman Dave Mustaine. Please.

POLITICO.COM:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/click/2012/02/megadeth-frontman-backs-rick-santorum-114539.html
"Earlier in the election, I was completely oblivious as to who Rick Santorum was, but when the dude went home to be with his daughter when she was sick, that was very commendable,” Mustaine recently told MusicRadar.com.

*Yup. Totally normal. Never heard of the dude. But hey, he visited his sick kid. I mean, who would do that? Obama would probably just laugh at his sick daughters with a hale and hearty "Bwaaaahahahahahahaha... still vomiting Sasha and Malia? Well vomit on, Garth. For I, Barack Hussein, care not! Bwaaaa hahahahahahahaha." What the hell is happening? How is such idiocy considered normal?

*How is it normal that a once great political party, which occasionally even had a principle or two, has become a Nuthouse lead by pandering partisan putzes? How is it normal that compromise, which is the only way to get anything done in a divided government, is now reviled, as if one should NEVER compromise and hence, NEVER get ANYTHING done. How is that normal?

*Maybe it's me. Maybe my old normal was never really normal. Maybe plum loco is the new normal. Maybe plum loco has always been the norm, but the loco's did a plum better job of hiding it.

*Maybe I'll just spend the rest of the day scratching my head.

*Maybe.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

ORAL SEX WITH JFK, HIS INTERN, AND SOCK PUPPETS "YOU ARE THERE" - watch more funny videos

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Barack Obama is on food stamps? Jesus. - watch more funny videos

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NOTHING RUINS A CAR RADIO SINGALONG MORE THAN A HOMELESS GUY. - watch more funny videos

STAY TUNED FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS ON UPCOMING SHOWS!

A SIMPLETON'S GUIDE TO DESPISING RICK SANTORUM

2012-02-14T10:28:00.000-08:00

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THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

Please enjoy this sock puppet recreation of President Kennedy's recently revealed affair with Mimi Alford.

It's what Jack would have wanted.

ORAL SEX WITH JFK, HIS INTERN, AND SOCK PUPPETS "YOU ARE THERE" - watch more funny videos

WHY DESPISE SANTORUM? IT'S REALLY VERY SIMPLE!

You know, Ladies and Germs, politics can be a complicated business. Oh, also, it ain't beanbag. On the other hand, it's not a ham sammich either.

But even political junkies' eyes can glaze over with the never ending rat-tat-tat-tat of charges and counter charges. So many of these clowns have disgraced themselves beyond being considered credible, and yet, we actually forget all the boneheaded stunts that they pull.

You can't tell the a-holes without a scorecard.

Hence, to simplify matters for people like me (and perhaps you), we'll cut to the chase. We'll separate the wheat from the chaff. And yes, I had to google how to spell chaff.

What really chaff's my ass is when extreme dildos appear credible, because it's in the MSM's interest to prolong a horse race. So for a time, they'll even pretend a horse's arse is credible.

Arse not what you can do for your blogger. Your blogger is about to do something for you.

Here, for those of you unable to keep track of why Sticky Ricky McGoogle is a true dildo's dildo (and a frothy one at that), are four simple reasons to despise Rick Santorum.

1. HE SAYS RIDICULOUS THINGS AND MAKES RIDICULOUS EXCUSES.

As NYT Columnist Frank Bruni pointed out so eloquently this morning, Sticky Rick's explanation to George Stephanopolous about a passage in his book "It Takes A Family," was beyond ludicrous. In the book, Rick rails about "radical feminists" who make by-choice stay-at-home Moms (like Mrs. Sticky Rick) feel like crap for not working out in the world. (Yes we concede in advance stay at home Momming is obviously real, hard work).

And the irony is, Sticky McGoogle threw his barefoot often preggers wifey-poo under the freaking bus.

NYTIMES.COM: FRANK BRUNI:
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/14/opinion/bruni-the-do-over-derby.html?_r=1&ref=opinion
On Sunday he told Stephanopoulos that his wife, a nurse and lawyer who became a stay-at-home mother, had “co-written” the “radical feminists” section of “It Takes a Family.” This dodge was curious on several fronts. Wouldn’t it still leave him as the other co-author? Isn’t it an ungallant bit of blame shifting? And if he and she weren’t on the same page, why was she at the keyboard?

To magnify Bruni's point in a less than eloquent fashion, this ass clown McGoogle said it ain't his fault that "radical feminists" were demonized in the book, because Wifey Poo did it. Even though she's not listed as the co-author. And whether she wrote it or not, this is as remarkably idiotic as Ron Paul's racist homophobic newsletter denails.

So Ricky throws his wife under the bus, and Mr. Personal Responsibility refuses to take responsibility. In other words, he's completely full of shit.

2. HE SAYS RIDICULOUS THINGS AND MAKES RIDICULOUS EXCUSES THAT SET NEW RECORDS IN MONUMENTAL STUPIDITY

"I don't want them to make black people's lives better by giving them somebody else's money... I want to give them the opportunity to go out there and earn the money."

Not only does this douche act as if black people are the only ones on welfare (there are more whites than blacks for the record), he later claims he didn't say "black" people. He claims he said "blah" people. Turn up your speaker, you can hear the consonant.

This has been noted countless times all over the damn media. Yet there seems to be an odd lack of outrage. But that's probably because we're all so used to all these d-bags lying to us.

Still, making up shit that's stupider than stupid, lying through his teeth and expecting us to believe him because we must be that stupid, clearly another SIMPLE reason to despise Sticky McGoogle.

3. HE ACTUALLY BELIEVES STATES OUGHT TO BE ABLE TO BAN CONTRACEPTION!

HUFFINGTONPOST.COM:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/03/rick-santorum-birth-control-sodomy_n_1181291.html
Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum, whose strong base of evangelical Christian supporters has thrust him into contention in Iowa, said on Monday that he believes states should have the right to outlaw birth control and sodomy without the interference of the Supreme Court.

In a Santorum world, an entire state worth of women would suddenly not have access to contraception. With all due respect to Catholics (not the Church, the people), the idea that contraception is wrong because God doesn't want you to have sex if you're not making babies has to be the stupidest religious tenet out there. But no other politician, not even these asswipes, has suggested an actual statewide BAN on contraception if the legislature sees fit. Don't get me started on the numbskull notion of a Church or a candidate that wants to prevent abortion but doesn't want to allow contraception.

Oh, by the way, outlaw sodomy? Santorum was famously against the Supreme Court decision which struck down the Texas law against sodomy. By the way, for you non-gay rights fans, sodomy technically includes what the kids call Lewinsky.

You wanna outlaw Lewinsky? I didn't think so.

Once he went brown, it was time to git down!

Here's the classic GOP hypocrite who wants the guv-ment to stay out of your lives, except when it comes to whether you can blow your husband.

The level of pious insanity necessary to reach this nonsensical conclusion is beyond beyond.

WIKIPEDIA.ORG:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santorum_controversy_regarding_homosexuality
The Santorum controversy arose over Republican former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum's statements about homosexuality and the right to privacy. In an interview with the Associated Press (AP) taped on April 7, 2003,[1] and published April 20, 2003, Santorum stated that he believed mutually consenting adults do not have a constitutional right to privacy with respect to sexual acts. Santorum described the ability to regulate consensual homosexual acts as comparable to the states' ability to regulate other consensual and non-consensual sexual behavior, such as adultery, polygamy, child molestation, incest, and bestiality, whose decriminalization he believed would threaten society and the family, as they are not monogamous and heterosexual.

Yup. Having sex with sheep is just like being gay. That's why he doesn't want you to have sex with "blah" people. 'Cause once you go blah you never go baaaa. Which means it's over between you and the sheep. But, I digress.

4. THE GUY WHO SAYS THE GOVERNMENT SHOULDN'T CONTROL YOUR LIVES LITERALLY TRIED TO REST CONTROL OF TERRY SCHIAVO'S LIFE FROM HER FAMILY... THE GOVERNMENT **OVERRULING** THE FAMILY ON WHETHER TO PULL THE PLUG ON A COMATOSE BRAIN DEAD TERRY SCHIAVO!

MOTHERJONES.COM:

http://motherjones.com/politics/2012/01/rick-santorum-terri-schiavo-new-hampshire
The fight over the fate of Terri Schiavo, the 41-year-old Florida woman who died in 2005 after a judge ordered her life-preserving feeding tubes removed, captivated and divided the American public. Then-Sen. Rick Santorum (R-Pa.), who's now running for president, was one of the leading proponents of state intervention to save Schiavo's life, cosponsoring a bill to intervene in the case and even visiting Schiavo in the hospital. That aggressive advocacy helped lead to Santorum's ouster from Congress the next year.

Putting aside the blatant hypocrisy on the issue of government overreach, HE VISITED HER IN THE HOSPITAL???? A shameless self-aggrandizing vomitorious act of granstanding. Put another way, this guy makes you want to puke.

And there you have it. A Simpleton's Guide To Despising Rick Santorum. Even I can understand it.

One of the stupidest things Sticky Rick now says on the stump is that he could win elections in states like Ohio and PA. He lost by 18 points because we grew to despise him. Even short term memory impaired punks like us can easily be reminded of the record setting douchebagger that is Sticky Rick.

Is the GOP that desperate, that stupid? Well, I think the fact that Mr. McGoogle is, even for an instant, in the spotlight, is proof that yes, they are.

But then, McGoogle didn't get to be a United States Senator because evangelical conservatives are the brightest bulbs in the drawer.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Barack Obama is on food stamps? Jesus. - watch more funny videos

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NOTHING RUINS A CAR RADIO SINGALONG MORE THAN A HOMELESS GUY. - watch more funny videos

STAY TUNED FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS ON UPCOMING SHOWS!

WUERL-WIND RIDE ON THE BULLSHIT EXPRESS

2012-02-10T06:37:00.000-08:00

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

Cardinal Donald Wuerl, formerly of Pittsburgh, is completely full of shit, and so is the Catholic Church. But then you already know that.

I watched him obfuscate, bullshit, and double-talk on Morning Joe and wanted to throw a brick through the Tee Vee. It was Elvis who used to shoot Tee Vees, right?

Wuerl said the Affordable Health Care Act provision requiring Catholic hospitals to offer insurance which covers employees' birth control pills (employees who may not be Catholic, or may be Catholic and yet not brainwashed by the Church's absurdly anachronistic anti-contraception foolishness) is like the White House telling the media "you MUST talk about certain issues on Tuesdays and Fridays." I'm paraphrasing, but the Wuerl quote is basically accurate.

What is that? That is bullshit. Nonsense. Crapola. I was disappointed in Mika Brzezinski who said, at the end of the interview, that it was "a fantastic conversation," even though, "we may not always agree." That was just bowing to the beatific bullshitter, his phony religious halo countenance beaming over the airwaves.

It wasn't a fantastic conversation. It was bullshit. The government mandating media talking points would be a violation of the First Amendment, as well as just plain wrong.

The government saying women should have the OPTION of birth control paid for by health insurance (and some women use it for HEALTH reasons, like keeping their period trains running on time) is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING like the government ORDERING the media to talk about certain subjects.

FALSE ANALOGY. FALSE EQUIVALENCY. FALSE. BULLSHIT. NOT TRUE. ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT STRAIGHT FROM THE FUCKING BULL.

What's wrong with this country and this world is that we have WAY too much respect for religion. The old saying that you shouldn't discuss sex, politics, and religion, is, quite obviously, because they're all controversial and likely to lead to bickering.

But the notion that we shouldn't call religious leaders on their absolute fucking bullshit is absolute fucking bullshit.

Just because they speak in that annoyingly condescending calmer than calm allegedly straight from Gawd Almighty heavenly cadence, doesn't mean they're not COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT.

Want to hear more of the "Cardinal's" bullshit? Yes, he's a Cardinal! Bigger than a Priest, more powerful than a Bishop, able to leap tall orders of bullshit logic in a single bound!

He said the "Hawaii model" (Barry Hussein's home state of Hawaii has some compromise law that allows the option of insurance paying for contraception without the Cardinals panties getting in a bunch), may or may not be the solution. He said it might be something like a school system saying "we're not going to offer access to pornographic web sites, but there are options available which will allow school kids that access." Once again, I'm paraphrasing because I was too busy weighing whether to throw a Goddamn brick through the Tee Vee to take notes, but he definitely made the point about school kids and "pornographic web sites."

And that, once again Ladies and Germs, is total absolute complete fucking bullshit.

FALSE ANALOGY. FALSE EQUIVALENCY. ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT.

And how about the level of sensationalism in that last bullshit statement? Like school systems offering the option of pornographic web sites? As if voluntarily accepting free birth control from your insurance company (not totally free, of course, because you pay for the insurance... but at least it's covered) has ANYTHING to do with internet porn.

Bullshit. We give tons of respect and deference to religious leaders and they don't deserve it. And YES, it IS legitimate to point out their shocking hypocrisy over the PURE EVIL they have perpetrated on THOUSANDS of young men for GENERATIONS. Yes, it is not unfair to point out how that UNDERCUTS what LITTLE CREDIBILITY they may have left.

But, putting that aside (and we should, don't you think? After all they wear funny hats and costumes and presume to lecture us on morality... because their example has been such a MODEL of morality), they are (I may have mentioned this) COMPLETELY FULL OF SHIT on this issue.

NOBODY has to take birth control who doesn't want to. NOBODY has to accept insurance as a method of payment for that birth control if they don't want to. It's a choice for the individual. Choice. You may have heard about it.

IT'S HARD FOR CATHOLIC LEADERS AND REPUBLICANS TO BELIEVE, BUT THERE ACTUALLY ARE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WHO CAN'T AFFORD BIRTH CONTROL (yes in some cities programs for the poor help alleviate this, BUT IN OTHER AREAS THERE ARE NO SUCH PROGRAMS), and for these people, THIS SHIT MATTERS!

HUFFINGTONPOST.COM:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/10/rick-santorum-contraception_n_1269008.html?ref=mostpopular
Birth control can be readily available, sometimes on the cheap, for many women. But for a good portion of them, it's neither. Moreover, roughly 14 percent of all birth control prescriptions are written for reasons other than contraception, including ovarian cancer, ovarian cysts, endometriosis, and endometrial cancer.

Finally, the Cardinal uttered some more bullshit. He said we have "redefined health care," as if pregnancy had been inappropriately designated some sort of illness or something. It may or may not have anything to do with illness (talk to any pregnant woman to see if they feel fantastic all the time as a result of their pregnancy), but is DEFINITELY a HEALTH CARE ISSUE.

For him to imply that it's not, as if you're just a vessel carrying out Gawd's will that you have a baby (but of course that is the bullshit religious sexism that informs their world view), is more ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT.

And to add insult to bullshit, Cardinal Wuerl kept calling Mika Brzezinski (pronounced MEE-kah) "Mike-ah."

The sexist (oh, I know it's shocking to imply a man who represents an institution that PERMANENTLY makes women second class citizens is sexist) can't even learn how to pronounce the co-host's name??????

'Cause you know, she's only a broad. A vessel. A vagina put on the earth to procreate. Hey, what else are they for?

Newsflash to religious fanatics: people want to have sex even though they may not want babies. It's not evil. It's human. When you make up prudish nonsensical dogma, or rules, or commandments, or tenets, or call them what you will, implying that people should only have sex to procreate and all other sex is evil, you are an idiot. You are incapable of recognizing humanity and reality. You are not serving Gawd, you're serving nonsense, and since some people are stupid enough to believe it, you are causing great harm.

UPDATE: OBAMA ATTEMPTS TO COMPROMISE! USATODAY.COM

http://content.usatoday.com/communities/theoval/post/2012/02/source-obama-to-change-birth-control-rule/1

"But if a woman's employer is a charity or a hospital that has a religious objection to providing contraceptive services as part of their health plan, the insurance company -- not the hospital, not the charity -- will be required to reach out and offer the woman contraceptive care free of charge without co-pays, without hassle."

So Gawd's chosen representatives on Earth won't have to soil their lily white hands with evil birth control. Whew! Another manufactured bullshit crisis bites the dust. Or will it? Some Catholic big wheels are still frothing, as is Mr. Frothy Mix his own self, and some other GOP nutbags (if you'll excuse the redundancy).

NYTIMES.COM:
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/02/10/santorum-says-pragmatism-would-lead-to-a-hollow-victory/
“It’s not about contraception,” Mr. Santorum said. “It’s about economic liberty. It’s about freedom of speech. It’s about freedom of liberty. It’s about government control of your lives, and it’s got to stop.”

The guv-ment isn't forcing anyone who doesn't want birth control to take it. Period. It is most certainly NOT about guv-ment "control." It is about people who don't have much money having health insurance to cover an item they want and need. Not that affordability matters one whit to the G.O.P. Not they they can possibly relate to anyone with a low cash flow. Not that they would give a shit anyway.

Funny hats don't make you closer to Gawd. Memorizing passages of religious tomes don't make you closer to Gawd. We're all human. We're all guessing.

But we have the option, hierarchy and laymen, of dealing with reality. Modern day reality. It is an option funny hat wearing costumed dandies need to explore.

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NOTHING RUINS A CAR RADIO SINGALONG MORE THAN A HOMELESS GUY. - watch more funny videos

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RELIGIOUS CIRCLE JERK

2012-02-09T06:10:00.000-08:00

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THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

With all due respect to my overtly religious friends (I can't think of any, but there must be some), religion often makes me sick. Everybody makes up their own bullshit that is supposedly the gospel from The Lard Thy Gawd Jaysus, or whoever your ultimate icon is, and the followers are supposed to believe that this PARTICULAR set of rules (made up bullshit) is the TRUE pipeline to the Lard Almighty Gawd.

Wow. Somebody's got QUITE the ego.

Now let me ask you this. When a football player prays, does Gawd hear him and give his team an edge? What if one person from each team is praying, what on earth does the Lard Almighty Gawd Jaysus do then?

Correspondingly, do some people have more of a direct pipeline to Gawd than others? Well, I'm making up my own bullshit, because NOBODY as in NOBODY knows the truth. But in my view, if there is a Gawd, we're all bozos on this bus, baby. We're all equal. So just because you devote much of your life to memorizing the talking points of a particular brand of made up bullshit, does NOT mean your pipeline to Gawd is any shorter than mine. Or his. Or hers. Or anybody's.

Therefore, according to my own brand of made up bullshit, which is as likely or unlikely to be true, nobody's closer to Gawd than you. Or me. Or anybody.

Hence, it is therefore offensive and disgusting that a bunch of Texas evangelical preachers would believe that by gathering in a circle around Rick Santorum and praying to the Lard Gawd, they could increase the chances that America would take leave of her senses and elect a homophobic religious nut who thinks it's OK for states get rid of contraception to the Presidency.

video platform video management video solutions video player

CNN.COM:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/08/santorum-talks-faith-with-texas-pastors/
"The intolerance of the left, the intolerance of the secular ideology, it is a religion unto itself, it is just not a biblical based religion, and it is the most intolerant," Santorum said. "Just like we saw from the days of the atheists of the Soviet Union, it is completely intolerant of dissent. They fear dissent. Why? Because the dissent comes from folks who use reason, common sense, and divine revelation and they want no part of any of those things."

"They want their world view to be imposed without question, and if you question them, you're haters, you're bigots, and you should be as a result of that ostracized from the public square," he added.

You're a homophobic bigot Rick. Hence, you're against civil rights. Just because you declare your world view to be that of Gawd's, doesn't mean it has any basis in reality.

Reason and common sense equals believing that YOUR brand of made up bullshit is the superior brand? Utterly delusional.

The obvious irony is making my head explode. We intolerant realists (who don't believe in fairy tales) don't give a shit if you want to waste your life believing in invisible men in the sky (to paraphrase Carlin, who, you'll have to admit, looked a little like Jaysus).

We just don't want you to shove it down our throats or impose YOUR values on US through Guv-Ment, since we believe in the separation of Church and State.

You want your world view to be imposed without question, because you think you have the divine truth. But you don't. Because nobody does. Because nobody can. You were brainwashed from birth. That's why you think what you think. Imposing dudes with smoke and mirrors and costumes and funny hats can hypnotize even the most discriminating three year old.

But let's get back to my original outrage. Really? Does the Lord Gawd Almighty look down from above and say "wow, some of the more fervent believers are embracing that dork from Western PA who used to be a U.S. Senator. Hence, I will favor the dork from now on!"

The arrogance. The narcissism. The notion that these particular people are closer to Gawd than most, and therefore their mere presence in a room, and their proximity to a homophobic right wing nutbag, could insure his victory, is beyond bizarre and ridiculous. It's the ULTIMATE hubris.

Gawd doesn't play favorites depending on which nutbags are rooting for which nutbag. And the moment you think he does, is the moment you jump the shark into Nutbagism.

And Nutbagism is the true religion that Sticky Ricky McGoogle practices. It says that HIS version of made up shit is the right one, and we should all follow.

By demonizing agnosticism and atheism, he is once again illustrating why so many are put off with organized religion.

I have to add the obvious. When you institutionally protect child molesters for generations, you lack credibility. By their definition, attacking religion is a sin in and of itself. It's unfair they think. Look at all the good work we did, despite protecting child molesters.

No. If you're that hypocritical and despicable, you don't get to occupy the moral high ground.

Period.

So organize religious circle jerks all you like.

The Lord Gawd doesn't favor you. In my world, he despises you for using his name to benefit disgusting homophobes. Or people who are pretending to be disgusting homophobes to win the votes of other disgusting homophobes. I've never been able to figure out exactly which one Sticky Ricky McGoogle is.

Either way, ol' Frothy Mix is beyond gross. And I refer to the man, not the fluid.

OK, to be fair, it's a toss up.

CNN.COM:
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2012/02/08/santorum-talks-faith-with-texas-pastors/
But rather than simply bowing their heads at their seats, Ellis directed Santorum to walk to the center of the small congregation and the crowd of pastors stood in concentric circles around him, arms touching, heads bowed, as they called on God to guide the candidate in his campaign for president.

Bizarre. Beyond Gross. Or, put another way, Santorum.

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FROTHY MIX OF BULLSHIT ON A STICK

2012-02-08T12:44:00.000-08:00

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THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

It's hard to know whether to laugh or cry. Rick Santorum wins three caucuses, and the mainstream media is forced to temporarily treat him with undeserved and unwarranted respect. Or at least the appearance of it.

I want to laugh because this complete joke who got his ass handed to him by Bobby The Snooze Casey, by EIGHTEEN POINTS no less, this idiot who wants to bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb, bomb Iran yesterday, this moron who says he has a "problem" with homosexuality and compared it to beastiality, this turdball who thinks states ought to ban contraception if they want to, this nutjob's nutjob who tried to force a family to keep a comatose relative alive by blathering about his idiotic religious convictions on the floor of the U.S. Senate, this bag o' douche who defrauded Western Pennsylvania taxpayers by having his kids get free internet schooling available ONLY to western PA kids when Rick's kids lived in Virginia, this gasbag who inspired columnist Dan Savage to create a new meaning for the word Santorum (google it if you STILL don't know about it), this sweater vest wearing piece of political excrement who knows he can't win but wants to be Mittens Veep (Romney/Frothy 2012!), this insincere insignificant insolent insider creepo from the planet Disgusto, is seen, for an instant, as someone who, get this..... wait for it.... is CREDIBLE.

And that's incredible.

I want to cry for the same reason I want to laugh. What has happened to the Republican Party? What has happened to America that this punk ass bitch can be taken seriously BY ANYONE?

CBSNEWS.COM:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57373308-503544/santorum-hopes-to-build-momentum-from-3-state-sweep/
The former Pennsylvania senator said he did not believe that the Obama administration was truly interested in working with religious groups to "allay their concerns," as the White House has recently pledged to do, and accused him of launching a "direct assault on the freedom of religion."

Jesus he's such a pandering pussified preppy puke. The President is saying one thing. If you run a Catholic hospital, but you have employees who aren't Catholic, your health insurance has to cover contraception, because under the new health care bill, THAT'S THE LAW.

It is NOT an assault on freedom of religion.

Every single Catholic and Non Catholic is free to believe that the Lard Jaysus H. Christ hates birth control, and hence, they can refuse to take it. Of course birth control prevents unwanted pregnancy, which means FEWER ABORTIONS, but don't try to deal in logical terms with these bags o' nuts.

CBSNEWS.COM:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57373308-503544/santorum-hopes-to-build-momentum-from-3-state-sweep/
"This is a president who just recently...was basically making the argument the argument that Catholics had - maybe even had to go so far as to hire women priests to comply with employment discrimination issues," Santorum said. "This is a very hostile president to people of faith."

Lemme see, what do you call that? Oh yeah, ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT.

Obama made NO such argument and of course never would. It's ludicrous.

Although if the Catholic Church would ever end it's blatantly sexist bullshit and put some women in charge who actually might not molest kids... well, you could knock me over with a Father.

Santorum is a sensational lying scumbag. Of course, if you're going to be a lying scumbag, you may as well be sensational.

All he can do is appeal to the Jaysus-heads who have their heads so far up Jaysus' ass that they can't see the forest for the Santorum. These paranoids always believe religion is under assault because they don't understand why religion (there's of course) doesn't rule the world? They want church and state to copulate. Religious freedom? To them it's the freedom to force their religion, their values, their bullshit down your throat.

The notion that Rick Santorum can be considered, even for a tenth of a second, a CREDIBLE candidate for the Presidency, is almost the saddest commentary on the state of politics in this increasingly ridiculous country. The saddest would be Sarah Palin. Which seems like a very bad dream.

Now you and I know ol' Frothy Mix will fade quickly. If New Booty Newtie wasn't such a piece of shit his own self, no one would give two hemorrhoids about Frothy.

In the end, the Ken Doll will prevail, the "independents" will be revolted by his pretentious out of touch phony baloney pony ride to nowhere, and Barry Hussein will remain.

Romney/Frothy 2012
Let's Get Sticky!

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GRAND OLD PARTY FULL OF GRAND OLD DORKS

2012-02-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

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THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

There are deep divisions within the Republican Party.

They are largely dissatisfied with their field.

And there's a simple explanation for that.

They are dorks.

Dorks, dorks, dorks.

Three out of the remaining four contenders are the biggest G.D. dorks you've ever laid eyes on.

You can't count Crazy Grandpa. First of all, they done ran Crazy Gramps and it didn't work out too well, despite the gimmicky eye candy.

Yup, even WE'RE not that shallow.

Ron Paul wants to go back to the gold standard, which is appropriate, 'cause he's the gold standard of Crazy Grandpas.

But he hasn't a prayer.

Or maybe he does since they all believe they have their own personal pipeline to Gawd Almighty.

Almighty, then!

Let's just make sure it's a hand up and not a handout. By Gawd.

DORKASAURUS SANTORUS

Seriously, have you ever seen a bigger dork than Sticky Ricky McGoogle (aka Rick Santorum) ?

No this isn't just cheap partisan sniping. I'm actually very expensive. But the dude is a dork's dork. Sweater vests?

Sweater vests?

He gets up in the morning and thinks, what should I wear, and he chooses the optimum dork design?

Yes, he's ridiculous because he thinks the states ought to be able to outlaw contraception. Yes, he's ridiculous because he equates gay sex with beastiality. Yes he's ridiculous because he thinks the U.S. Senate ought to intervene in a private case of a woman in a coma whose family has decided to pull the plug.

But let's face it. You don't know that much about his positions. American votes on charisma or lack thereof. Does he look like a President? Um, no freaking way.

What he looks like is what he is. A dork. A dork's dork.

Dubya was a dick. But not a dork.

Clinton was rube-ish. But not a dork.

41 was a pretentious douche. Not a dork. Reagan was a mediocre actor. Not. A. Dork. Carter was a pious know-it-all. Non dork. Ford? OK, a dork, but he got in by accident. Nixon? Bizarre. Awkward, Uncomfortable. More dweeb than dork. Johnson? Asshole. But not the D word. Kennedy? He was getting more tail than a rock concert porta potty and even had his intern/mistress blow his aide with him watching?

Ask not what your Presidential Aide can do for you...

Distasteful? On many levels. Dorky? Um, no.

OK, I'm not going back to Washington for chrissakes, you get the idea.

Romney is a total dork. Newtie? Look up dork in the dictionary. These people will not be elected because we don't elect dorks as President. It's embarrassing enough to be us without being led by a dork.

How ridiculous is the current political process? Sticky Ricky McGoogle could win in Minnesota today, give him some alleged dorky Presidential street cred. Got no money. Got no organization. Got no chance. But he could actually become a temporary part of the national conversation as if he has a chance in h-e-double-toothpicks.

Because it's just freaking silly. You know where else McGoogle could win? Missouri. You know how many delegates are awarded to the winner in MO. ? None. Zero. Zip.

So why are they doing it? Because they're idiots. And dorks. Why would you bother to have an election that is completely meaningless???????????????

And this argument over requiring Catholic hospitals to offer free contraception covered by insurance? Re-Goddamn-diculous.

You know how you're supposed to respect religion? I don't. Whether it's stoning women to death for being raped in some backward Muslim country, or denying women birth control so they DON'T have to have an abortion in this country, religion is killing people with its stupidity.

The chattering class claims Catholics are going to desert Obama big time. Here's the dirty little secret of the Catholic church... many of its members realize its dogma is completely full of shit. They put the dog in dogma. So even though the guys with the funny hats and clever costumes are telling you Obama is evil, the rank and file, by and large, realize that contraception is a good thing, and the Church's opposition to it is just, well, bizarre.

The dork factor will doom the Republicans. As well it should.

We killed Indians to found this nation, and then brought slaves to make sure our Founding Fathers could spend time founding instead of performing menial tasks.

We took forever to give women and minorities their rights. We've fought in a couple of unnecessary horrible wars.

We've been heinously hypocritical on hundreds of fronts.

But we have never, knowingly, purposely, elected a dork President of The Yoo-Nited States of Amurica.

And we ain't about to start now.

By Gawd.

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MCINTIRE AT FunnyOrDie.Com STOP BEING MORONS!

http://www.funnyordie.com/articles/d0820b1026/stop-being-morons
Morons. Only morons would think the Big O might be Muslim. We have a country full of morons. One should not be so mean. One should be fair and balanced. One should encourage dialogue. One should find the middle ground. Or, one should live on the planet Earth and realize we're a country full of morons.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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FOOD STAMP PRESIDENT? PARTY OF TEA WEIGHS IN...

2012-02-03T05:36:00.000-08:00

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THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Yo WTF'ers!

Dig this: Man.

Barry Hussein, the "Foodstamp President" ?

The Party of Tea's Chief Executive weights in.

WHEN IS A CIGAR JUST A CIGAR?

You can do lots of different things with a cigar. The more creative among us can think of several things.

I can think of few more creative ideas than the one employed by one William Jefferson Clinton, according to the Starr Report.

But sometimes people are not using humans as human humidors.

Hence, the old expression, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

What this country needs is a good five cent human humidor!

Here's what I'm really talking about. I see talking heads on the Tee-Vee scratching their heads over one Willard Mittens Romney.

Mr. Romney has spoken about how he enjoys firing people. He has acknowledged that he's not worried about the extremely poor because we've got that whole safety net thing going on.

That's why poor people at the bus stop always look so Goddamn happy. The safety net is more like a comfortable mink coat of financial safety.

I mean, when you've got food stamps burning a hole in your pocket when you proudly strut into the grocery store, well, there are few more satisfying feelings available in this crazy thing we call life.

When Mittens struggles to relate, it's OK not to over think it. It isn't because he needs a new debate coach. It isn't because the campaign is just getting started and he hasn't yet found his footing.

It is what it is. The cigar is just a cigar.

In Mittens' case, it's just a very expensive fancy schmancy cigar. Mitt Romney can't possibly relate to the average guy 'cause he's never, ever, ever, ever been the average guy.

He's spoiled. He's rich. His Dad was wealthy, Mitt took the ball and ran with it. Nothin' wrong with that. But it seriously makes it completely impossible for him to relate.

If you don't care about that, rock on. If you think, "well, of course he can't possibly relate to me, but he's a successful businessman and he'll be better at running the economy that Barry, " be satisfied with your delusions. No, seriously, it's at least possible that he could be a good President despite being totally out touch with the common man. Mostly because anything's possible.

I prefer somebody who at some point in his life had to worry about something. Don't get me wrong, FDR and JFK never had to worry. One was the greatest President ever. The other, in my view, was at least half way decent (historians bicker about that one).

But times have changed. Sure, Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Steve Jobs (until he went to that great I-pad in the sky) all understand that they ought to be paying more taxes. But it feels like they are the exception, not the rule.

Barack and Michelle Obama were deeply in student loan debt. Barack wrote a book, Michelle got a good job, and they eventually paid them off. Now, of course, Barry's getting around 400 grand, plus shitloads of perks. The Obamas are set for life.

Ironically, according to Newtie, Barry is still on food stamps. Go figure.

But, back here on the planet Earth, just the fact that Barry had to break a sweat for a time because they owed shitloads of money, clearly means they can be at least a teeny bit empathetic to those of us who've had to break into our 401ks to get by. That would be your favorite blogger dogger do, moi.

The Obamas can relate, at least a little bit, to anyone who has had to worry about money. Imagine having NEVER EVER had to worry about money. What is that like?

The problem is it's really hard to design programs to help the poor or the middle class, if you've NEVER been poor or middle class, and, adding insult to injury, you've never really looked into the matter.

How blatantly obviously insincere has Mittens been when he keeps talking about the "middle class" ?

If the safety net has holes in it, he'll "repair" it? If he gave a flying fuck, he'd have already investigated whether there were holes, and he'd already have a phony plan with bullshit solutions to address it.

Mitt Romney is a classic out of touch elite plastic phony Ken Doll from central casting. He doesn't know or care anything about you. He can't possibly relate to you. It's not a caricature. It's not that the media are mean. It's not anything but the absolute truth. It's as plain as the nose on his plastic face.

Sometimes seemingly out of touch rich guys who couldn't possibly relate to anything you've ever had to deal with are simply out of touch rich guys who couldn't possibly relate to anything you've ever had to deal with.

Sometimes it makes them completely unfit to lead us. FYI, Government is NOT a business. It is the collective through which we pool our money to institute programs to benefit us all. It is NOT designed to make a profit. It is designed to help people. So a successful CEO does NOT necessarily have the best resume to lead us.

Oh, shit, why dance around it. Mitt Romney is a big phony fuck without an empathetic bone in his weird Ken Doll body and if this country elects him President they're dumber than I already think they are.

And I'm not that smart. But then, if you're reading this, you already know that.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Sometimes an out of touch asshole...

Tax the Mitts.

Feed the poor.

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WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CIVILITY? I DON'T KNOW, GO F YOURSELF!

We put the junk in political junkie. Or something like that. Watch the funny video damnit!

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OCCUPY BOOBIES

Boobies. Are. Our. Friends.

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GENERATION WARS PODCAST WITH JOHN AND GAB

Governor Sam Brownback is remarkable. Sure the Chief Executive of Kansas is a typical right wing yahoo, but he knows when to cut his losses. After an 18 year old tweeted that he "sucks," and his staff of Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers (just go with the mixed metaphor) tracked her down and demanded an apology, he backed off.

In fact he has now apologized and recognized that Free Speech Rules, Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers drool!

Plus, do young people give a flying petunia about political sex scandals?

And is MJ the last superstar? These and other scintillating questions are answered in titillating fashion in the brand spankin' new Generational Wars Podcast.

STAY TUNED FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS ON UPCOMING SHOWS!

CARPET BOMB THE NEWTSTER!

2012-02-01T06:57:00.000-08:00

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Yo WTF'ers!

Is Mittens Florida victory a sign that the once unprincipled blowing with the wind (how many positions must a dude flip flop, before you call him a man), blow dried bag o'wind is solidifying his street cred as a guy genu-wine truck drivin' conservatives redneck partiers of tea can totally get behind?

Or did they just kill New Booty Newtie with Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious Super duper pooper scooper Super Pac negative advertising? Obama Deputy Dawg Campaign Manager Stephanie Cutter would go with the latter.

ABCNEWS:
http://news.yahoo.com/obama-strategist-says-romneys-negative-attacks-backfiring-110052883--abc-news.html
"In reality, it is a product of the fact that Romney and his SuperPAC allies carpet-bombed Gingrich by spending five times as much money on Florida's airwaves, and running more than 60 television ads for every one Gingrich and his allies aired," she said.

What makes your Bloggerty Blogger In Chief happy slappy? That for once millions of American dollars are being used to carpet bomb not the Vietnamese, not the Iraqi civilians, but we're carpet bombing a dangerous blowhard into submission. And this is one blowhard who's been blown hard, if you believe the nasty goo on the intertubes.

Speaking of nasty goo on the innertubes, Sticky Ricky McGoogle also got his ass handed to him, and it seemed to be leaking a bit. #ObligatoryFrothyReference

YAHOO.COM:
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/ticket/mitt-romney-easily-clinches-florida-primary-win-010035287.html
In Las Vegas, despite his third place finish, Santorum vowed Tuesday night to remain in the race. He called on his competitors to focus on issues instead of "mud wrestling."

Why is it everything Sticky McGoogle refers to seems to have something to do with a watery dark substance of some sort?

YAHOO.COM:
"In Florida, Newt Gingrich had his opportunity," Santorum said.

"He became the issue; we can't allow our nominee to become the issue in the campaign," he added, presenting himself as the "different conservative" voters will be searching for as an alternative to Romney in the weeks ahead.

Dude, every one of you crazy motherfuckers IS the issue. Because you have issues. Gay issues, issues with believing you should be in control of comatose hospital patients at the Congressional level rather than the family of the patient, issues with believing states ought to outlaw birth control. These "issues" provide you with the background to be an official "crazy motherfucker," as the pundits say.

The only one without issues is the soulless flip flopping Ken Doll with all the charisma of the plastic at the Mattel plant.

Yes, these guys are still hysterical, still not credible, still crazy after all these years.

Meantime, remember when New Booty Newtie got all pissed off back in the day because President Clinton wouldn't let him ride in the front of Air Force One?

Can you say petulant? Can you say childish? Can you say prone to immature tempter tantrums?

Guess who didn't call to congratulate the victor in the Swampshine state, as tradition dictates, according to Mittens?

POLITICO.COM:
http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0212/72293.html
“Newt didn’t call after Iowa or New Hampshire. I called him after South Carolina, his win there, but he didn’t call again last night. The other candidates all called. But I don’t know, I guess speaker Gingrich doesn’t have our phone number,” Romney said, laughing, on NBC’s “Today” show.

Yessir, that's their baby. Nossir, I don't mean maybe. Yessir, that's Big Baby Newt.

Are you running a Presidential campaign, or running for Prom King? Grow up you fat self aggrandizing grandiose unprincipled narcissist douche! Or not. It's more fun this way.

And then one columnist surmises, with regard to the charismatically challenged Mittens, that it ain't him, it's us.

Jesus, what a Goober.

WASHINGTONPOST.COM - KATHLEEN PARKER:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/mitt-romneys-trouble-is-his-near-perfection/2012/01/31/gIQAyv4pfQ_story.html
It isn’t that Romney can’t connect with people, as has been pronounced repeatedly. It is that people can’t connect with him. This also helps explain why the far less perfect Newt Gingrich can attract support against all reason, or at least against all reasonable expectations.

But. Um. Wait. It's not that he can't connect? It's that we can't? Isn't, um, that, because, um, HE CAN'T?

Man people make up all kinds of shit when they have to produce alleged quality content thrice weekly. Fortunately we blogger doggers can write or not whenever we damn well feel like it.

Wait. Stop.

See that? For a couple of seconds there I didn't damn well feel like it.

What's the good news? Newtie's pissed. He's stamping his feet. He's getting ready to hurl some more spitballs like a clever 12 year old with a better than average vocabulary should.

But hold on there Babalooey! Mittens has now come out with the meanest, cruelest, most underhanded, shockingly bold negative attack yet! Get load of what Mittens said about his opponent, the Big Load.

LATIMES.COM:
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-0201-florida-primary-20120201,0,7411210.story
Romney's attacks also took on an unusually personal tone. At one point, he scoffed that Gingrich should "look in the mirror" to understand why his campaign was struggling.

O.M.G. Newt should gaze upon his hideous countenance? Now that's dirty campaign tactics. It's also stupid, because it implies Newt isn't making out with every mirror he can find every minute of the day.

LATIMES.COM:
http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-0201-florida-primary-20120201,0,7411210.story
The former congressman responded in kind, calling Romney "totally dishonest" and saying it was impossible to debate someone with his casual relationship with the truth.

Casual relationship with the truth versus Sexual relationship with another woman as soon as your wife contracts a horrible disease?

We retort, you deride.

Meantime, another columnist sums it up nicely, with regard to the opposite of nicely, and that would be your Mr. New Booty.

WASHINGTONPOST.COM - JENNIFER RUBIN:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/post/newt-gingrich-loses-florida--and-reminds-us-why/2012/01/31/gIQAhkERgQ_blog.html
He obnoxiously ended by pledging: “My life, my fortune, my sacred honor.” But he’s not doing any of that. And it’s quite an insult to American patriots who have said that and meant it.

Gingrich has been reduced to a smaller-than-life figure. He’s a guy with a lot of words and very little appeal, whose meanness got the best of him and helped to wreck his campaign on a heap of attacks, insults and downright vile accusations (the latest being his claim that Romney is hostile to religion).

This tub o' goo kills me whenever he starts talking like a Founding Father, as if. AS. IF. And he's not giving his "fortune." He's being aided and abetted by a Vegas millionaire, Vegas casino owner Sheldon Adelson, another crazy old cootie who loves him some Newtie.

The Cootie and the Newtie.

So what we conclude from this WTF'ers?

Newt will continue to have the temperament of a pre-schooler while the Stormin' Mormon hands him his hat in state after state. And that will be delicious. Because even though the base is not smittens with Mittens, he'll win. Eventually. But the back and forth attacks are going to be delicious. And Sticky McGoogle is running for Veep, so he has to somehow look like an opponent, while simultaneously blowing Mittens. And if there's anyone capable of that high wire act, it's Sticky McGoogle.

Ron Paul? Well, he's the loony tunes cherry on top!

Ya just can't beat these candidates. But if you could, which one would you smack the shit out of? I know... Sticky or New Booty?

Decisions, decisions.

Decision 2012 drags on!

And if Sticky Rick gets the Veep... he'll look like the cat who swallowed the Santorum.

Great Googly Moogly!

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WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CIVILITY? I DON'T KNOW, GO F YOURSELF!

We put the junk in political junkie. Or something like that. Watch the funny video damnit!

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OCCUPY BOOBIES

Boobies. Are. Our. Friends.

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GENERATION WARS PODCAST WITH JOHN AND GAB

Governor Sam Brownback is remarkable. Sure the Chief Executive of Kansas is a typical right wing yahoo, but he knows when to cut his losses. After an 18 year old tweeted that he "sucks," and his staff of Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers (just go with the mixed metaphor) tracked her down and demanded an apology, he backed off.

In fact he has now apologized and recognized that Free Speech Rules, Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers drool!

Plus, do young people give a flying petunia about political sex scandals?

And is MJ the last superstar? These and other scintillating questions are answered in titillating fashion in the brand spankin' new Generational Wars Podcast.

STAY TUNED FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS ON UPCOMING SHOWS!

RIDING THE PIOUS BALONEY PONY!

2012-01-31T08:47:00.000-08:00

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Yo WTF'ers!

No bloggity bloggity today.

Just video!

Watch. Enjoy. Cleanup. Repeat.

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OCCUPY BOOBIES

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PEOPLE TRY TO PUT US DOWN, JUST BECAUSE WE GOT OLD AND ROUND!

GENERATION WARS COMEDY!

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GENERATION WARS PODCAST WITH JOHN AND GAB

Governor Sam Brownback is remarkable. Sure the Chief Executive of Kansas is a typical right wing yahoo, but he knows when to cut his losses. After an 18 year old tweeted that he "sucks," and his staff of Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers (just go with the mixed metaphor) tracked her down and demanded an apology, he backed off.

In fact he has now apologized and recognized that Free Speech Rules, Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers drool!

Plus, do young people give a flying petunia about political sex scandals?

And is MJ the last superstar? These and other scintillating questions are answered in titillating fashion in the brand spankin' new Generational Wars Podcast.

STAY TUNED FOR ANNOUNCEMENTS ON UPCOMING SHOWS!

TO DA MOON ALICE... uh... NEWTIE!

2012-01-27T08:48:00.000-08:00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE INCREDIBLY BRIEF STORY OF HOW WE GOT SCREWED - BY PAUL KRUGMAN
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/07/opinion/krugman-confronting-the-malefactors.html?ref=paulkrugman

In the first act, bankers took advantage of deregulation to run wild (and pay themselves princely sums), inflating huge bubbles through reckless lending. In the second act, the bubbles burst — but bankers were bailed out by taxpayers, with remarkably few strings attached, even as ordinary workers continued to suffer the consequences of the bankers’ sins. And, in the third act, bankers showed their gratitude by turning on the people who had saved them, throwing their support — and the wealth they still possessed thanks to the bailouts — behind politicians who promised to keep their taxes low and dismantle the mild regulations erected in the aftermath of the crisis.

Given this history, how can you not applaud the protesters for finally taking a stand?

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This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
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The moon. The freaking moon.

This pandering, slandering big bag o' goo thinks we ought to take a few gajillion dollars we DEFINITELY don't have and put a colony of humans on the moon!

He's in Florida and there are a lot of NASA folks out of work, so we understand the basic shallow transparent low-brow typical pol pandering shtick.

But that's the stupidest thing uttered by this or any other Presidential candidate in recent memory, and I'm including the campaigns of Dubya.

If we sent Newtie to the Moon will that constitute the classic definition of a total waste of space?

If he starts trying to pick up moon chicks will that give a whole new meaning to the term space junk?

Could we send Newtie, the rest of the GOP hopefuls past and present, and say maybe, the state of Alabama, just to round things out?

Should his first words be "this is one small step for man, one giant leap for assholes with egos bigger than the universe" ?

Do you think Newt should get out of politics, and perhaps dabble in a more natural endeavor? Say, pornography?

"I'm New Booty Newtie and it's time to ride the Pious Baloney Pony, bitch!"

Why does this bag of wind mesmerize so many hillbillies?

Why does anyone take him seriously? SERIOUSLY?

It's a world I no longer understand.

So I throw my hands up and say, hey, it's time to go to a Saturday Night Comedy-Talk show, the theme of which is INCIVILITY!

INCIVILITY RULES! HOW COME? WHO THE F DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

Are you trailed by tailgaters constantly? Is there some particular reason 99% of people who purchase pick up trucks are flaming assholes? Do you have to pass a flaming asshole test to prove your pick up truck worthiness?

Is there a particular reason these debates are the least civilized in the history of modern politics?

Do you get annoyed when people stare at and point at your food when you eat in a public place? Like it's their own little food network and you're the host?

Like you've prepared a food power point for their personal amusement?

Is it amazing how many people still pick their noses in public and they think THEY'RE the clever ones who've figured out how to pick and eat their boogers without anyone seeing?

Civilization has gone down the rabbit hole. Or to the dogs. Or maybe the dog was chasing the civilization rabbit and it fell down the hole. If I knew all the answers would I be sitting here typing in my underwear?

Many of us can no longer stand the sight of one another. Or maybe you're sick of this blog and you can no longer stand the site of one another, or in this case, me.

If the lack of civility in society has rubbed you the wrong way, chapped your behind, and pissed your little petunia right off a cliff (why is this asshole blogger putting forth new expressions that make zero sense?), you'll want to come to Saturday night's JOHN MCINTIRE DANGEROUSLY LIVE COMEDY TALK SHOW at the Cabaret Theater in downtown Pittsburgh.

Don't live in Pittsburgh? You snooze you lose pal. And if you're in Pittsburgh at 10:30 on a Saturday night when the show starts, chances are you're snoozing.

We skew old.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

On the other hand the Post-Gazette reported the other day that we are now the number one city for Hipsters.

Well I beg to differ. Have you seen Pittsburgh hipsters?

Like everything else, this city is a decade behind. These are the hipsters from ten years ago!

This town needs to march into UPMC and demand Hipster Replacement Surgery!

The lineup of panelists and show details are in the poster at the top of the page!

Be there and be Theater Square!

Man.

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FEATURED VIDEO: HERMAIN CAIN... I MISS THE ZANIEST OF THE ZANY!

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OCCUPY BOOBIES

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PEOPLE TRY TO PUT US DOWN, JUST BECAUSE WE GOT OLD AND ROUND!

GENERATION WARS COMEDY!

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GENERATION WARS PODCAST WITH JOHN AND GAB

Governor Sam Brownback is remarkable. Sure the Chief Executive of Kansas is a typical right wing yahoo, but he knows when to cut his losses. After an 18 year old tweeted that he "sucks," and his staff of Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers (just go with the mixed metaphor) tracked her down and demanded an apology, he backed off.

In fact he has now apologized and recognized that Free Speech Rules, Orwellian Nazi stormtroopers drool!

Plus, do young people give a flying petunia about political sex scandals?

And is MJ the last superstar? These and other scintillating questions are answered in titillating fashion in the brand spankin' new Generational Wars Podcast.

NEXT SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT JANUARY 28TH! CABARET THEATER DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH! 10:30 PM!
TOPIC- LACK OF CIVILITY. WHEN DID WE ALL BECOME SUCH A-HOLES? (Not to put too fine a point on it). SEE POSTER ABOVE FOR DETAILS! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE!

STATE OF THE STATING THE OBVIOUS

2012-01-25T04:03:00.000-08:00

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WASHINGTONPOST.COM:
http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/in-state-of-the-union-address-obama-seeks-t-capitalize-on-incumbency-and-a-hot-issue/2012/01/24/gIQATpM1OQ_story.html
A gift of timing allowed Obama to draw a stark contrast with Romney.

It came, indirectly, as the president highlighted his quest for the “Buffett rule,” named for the billionaire investor who has criticized a tax system that allows him and other investors to pay a lower rate than their staffs. The rule would require people making more than $1 million a year to pay at least the same tax rates as middle-class Americans, which can be close to 30 percent. Buffett has said he paid an effective 17.4 percent rate last year.

Point two: After a little bit of analysis, in the end, nobody ever really cares about the State Of The Union speech.

Strong performance, good message, who gives a shit?

Best Presidential point?

Economic fairness.

Why should Warren Buffett pay less than his secretary as a percentage of income?

The conservatives actually have an answer. They say investment income is different, because it's already been taxed once.

But at the end of the year, Warren Buffet has X amount of income, and since it's investment income, it's only taxed at 15 percent. His secretary? At least 25 percent, maybe more.

The conservatives other response? The rich pay a higher percentage of all taxes paid than the non-rich.

My response?

THE FUCKING RICH PEOPLE CAN AFFORD IT!

Why tax the rich? 'Cause that's where the money is!

WIKIPEDIA ON FAMOUS BANK ROBBER WILLIE SUTTON:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willie_Sutton
Sutton is known, albeit apocryphally, for the urban legend that he said that he robbed banks "because that's where the money is."

THAT'S. WHERE. THE. MONEY. IS.

People are getting thrown out of their homes. Regular middle class people are applying for food stamps. Good jobs have disappeared. Umpteen people are fighting for the same Goddamn job.

And we're worried about rich people because they've already been taxed once?

This country needs money. Whether the Tea Partying rubes get it or not, government is necessary. It's the soldiers, it's the cops, it's the firefighters. And yes, when you look and look and you can't find a decent job, you need some f'ing unemployment benefits to help get you by.

The rich can afford higher taxes.

The rich can afford higher taxes.

The rich can afford higher taxes.

Why? Because they're rich. They have money. They're not starving. They're not hurting. They're not without income. They have cash on hand. They have bucks in the bank. They are not poor, for Chrissakes, THEY'RE RICH!

Here's a newsflash! Even though conservatives would just cancel all taxes and shut down the guv-ment, we have decided, collectively as a society, to tax people and use the money for the common good.

The roads you drive on, the water that comes out of your tap, the protection you receive from local police, shit you take for granted every day of your existence, it's the guv-ment, damnit! And by the way, since we elect these losers, THE GUV-MENT IS US!

You know what the people on the Tee Vee who say the most urgent problem we have is the debt have in common? They all have six figure jobs.

We already know we have to pay down the damn debt. But we need to stimulate the economy in the short term, and pay the debt down in the long term.

And the short term is getting shorter for the millions who are hurting.

Tax the rich, they can afford it.

Tax the rich, they can afford it.

Tax the rich, they can afford it.

Seriously, one less vacation? One less yacht? One less vacation home? We're going to feel sorry for these people?

Responsible fat cats like Bill Gates and Warren Buffett have said they should pay higher taxes. Why do they make this obvious point? Because they know that they'll still have a great life. They'll still be rich.

You can pay down the debt if you tax the rich!

You shouldn't raise taxes in hard economic times? During the best economic times of recent history the rich paid taxes at a higher rate than they are now!

Class warfare? We're not declaring war against you because we want some of your money. We're proposing taxing you at a higher rate because we need the money! You have the money! We need it!

You can still be rich! You can still have a great life! We need more of your money!

There is no controversy over taxing the rich except among rich conservatives. Poll after poll show most Americans are in favor of higher taxes on the rich. So we've decided. We've made our decision.

We just have to fire the obstructionist Republicans. It's true, Obama isn't going to get shit done until after the elections, and without a cooperative Congress, maybe not even then. The election is our only hope.

If you can't tell that the G.O.P. bozos are bozos you're just not freaking paying attention. They are the greatest threat to this country we face today. Bombastic bozos with no soul, no particular political philosophy at their core, no genuine caring point of view.

But more importantly, they're freaking bozos! Have you watched the debates?

WE. NEED. MONEY.

TAX. THE. RICH.

That's State the Obvious for Wednesday, January 25th, 2012.

Thanks for playing and goodnight everybody!

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BARRY HUSSEIN VS. VERY INSANE

2012-01-23T07:07:00.000-08:00

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Yo WTF'ers!

Obama was somewhat naive and damn near screwed from day one. That's what I get out of an epic piece by Ryan Lizza in The New Yorker. The Cliffs Notes version is below, for you WTF'ers on the go. But if you've got some time, here's the link.

THE NEW YORKER - RYAN LIZZA - THE MAKING OF A POST PARTISAN PRESIDENCY
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/01/30/120130fa_fact_lizza

If you're short on time, here's a few brief take-aways from this opus.

*The GOP in Congress is full of more extreme conservatism than the Dems are full of extreme liberalism.

THE NEW YORKER:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/01/30/120130fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=2
Two well-known Washington political analysts, Thomas Mann, of the bipartisan Brookings Institution, and Norman Ornstein, of the conservative American Enterprise Institute, agree. In a forthcoming book about Washington dysfunction, “It’s Even Worse Than It Looks,” they write, “One of our two major parties, the Republicans, has become an insurgent outlier—ideologically extreme, contemptuous of the inherited social and economic policy regime, scornful of compromise, unpersuaded by conventional understanding of facts, evidence and science, and dismissive of the legitimacy of its political opposition.”

*Obama naively believed in "post-partisanship," only to be met with the brick wall that is GOP intransigence, focusing like a laser beam on one goal - causing Obama to fail.

*Obama is not a head in the clouds idealist, but a shrewd politician, not a transformer, but a tactician.

*He's not as liberal as the liberals believed when they voted for him.

*He faced scary damned-if-you-do/don't economic decisions on day one since a huge stimulus package (despite what the nutbags will tell you) was required, yet the explosion in spending would most certainly make the deficit balloon like the Macy's day parade. Ok, that's my metaphor, not theirs.

*He learned that the most powerful man in the world isn't quite as powerful as he had hoped.

THE NEW YORKER:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/01/30/120130fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=7
Obama was learning the same lesson of many previous occupants of the Oval Office: he didn’t have the power that one might think he had. Harry Truman, one in a long line of Commanders-in-Chief frustrated by the limits of the office, once complained that the President “has to take all sorts of abuse from liars and demagogues. . . . The people can never understand why the President does not use his supposedly great power to make ’em behave. Well, all the President is, is a glorified public relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing and kicking people to get them to do what they are supposed to do anyway.”

*The good old days of crisis resulting in consensus and new largely positive policy may be gone for good.

THE NEW YORKER:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/01/30/120130fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=11
Crisis has often been the wellspring of political transformation in America. Obama’s situation in 2009—a discredited opposition party and an economic meltdown—seemed remarkably similar to the circumstances that Franklin Roosevelt faced after he defeated Herbert Hoover, in 1932, and fashioned the modern welfare state; or when Lyndon Johnson took power after the trauma of John F. Kennedy’s assassination, in 1963, and pushed through the Great Society. But neither 9/11 nor the great recession transformed American politics in a way that overcame structural polarization.

*Everybody concedes Barack is a smart guy and, ideally, bipartisanship is a high minded and worthy goal. But when you take a look at the crazy nuts on the right, it is an obviously unreachable goal in the current climate... or...

as THE NEW YORKER puts it:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/01/30/120130fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=11
Predictions that Obama would usher in a new era of post-partisan consensus politics now seem not just naïve but delusional. At this political juncture, there appears to be only one real model of effective governance in Washington: partisan dominance, in which a President with large majorities in Congress can push through an ambitious agenda.

*You wanna make change? Ya gotta win.

*If you are liberal and you are disappointed with Obama, you just might get cancer and die.

THE NEW YORKER:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/01/30/120130fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=12
Many of Obama’s liberal allies have been disillusioned, too. When Steve Jobs last met the President, in February, 2011, he was most annoyed by Obama’s pessimism—he seemed to dismiss every idea Jobs proffered. “The president is very smart,” Jobs told his biographer, Walter Isaacson. “But he kept explaining to us reasons why things can’t get done. It infuriates me.”

*Apparently, there are no more FDR's, no more LBJ's.
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/01/30/120130fa_fact_lizza?currentPage=12
THE NEW YORKER:
As George Edwards notes in his study of Presidents as facilitators, the American system “is too complicated, power too decentralized, and interests too diverse for one person, no matter how extraordinary, to dominate.” Obama, like many Presidents, came to office talking like a director. But he ended up governing like a facilitator, which is what the most successful Presidents have always done. Even Lincoln famously admitted, “I claim not to have controlled events, but confess plainly that events controlled me.”

So where are we? We've got a competent President doing a competent job in extremely complicated and difficult times. But even if you think that the best you can say about him is that he's the lesser of two evils, the greater evil is so radically greater, that even the lesser of two is FAR preferable.

Either we take Congress back and get some stuff done, or we continue the stalemate. But we can't let the crazy people run things. And when I say crazy, I mean Republican.

THE REPUBLICAN FIELD IS FUCKING HILARIOUS

A man who was run out of town on a rail for ethics violations is rapidly being viewed by a growing majority as the most credible party standard bearer. Because he yells good and is a better guy to scream at Obama than the Ken Doll. That's the standard. THAT'S THE STANDARD?

A man who notoriously has no political center of gravity whatsoever, who's been pandering and shape shifting like a modern day movie super hero, is still considered by many to be (get this... ) credible.

A man who got his ass kicked in his home state by 18 points, who thinks states ought to be able to outlaw birth control, who thinks being gay is tantamount to beastiality and/or polygamy (if you follow the... ahem... "logic"), who brings his dead fetus home for the kids to play with, is taken seriously by some people. ACTUALLY. TAKEN. SERIOUSLY.

And a man who has suggested we repeal the Civil Rights Act, who is allowed to pontificate like the crazy old coot of an Uncle at Thanksgiving who won't shut the fuck up, who somehow can't take responsibility for racist and homophobic rants in his OWN newsletter... fuck it, I just don't understand. But you get the idea.

ASSEMBLING THE NASTIES FOR THE NASTY BUSINESS AHEAD

Finally, I enjoyed very much seeing a brief acquaintance of mine become one of the Nuts For Newtie, speaking for the Newster today on MSNBC.

A political advertising pal of mine once tried an experiment. We were going to produce a pilot called "Political Party," at which all sorts of politicos would actually have a party, and a couple of roaming hosts would occasionally chat with them, and the casual (and hopefully fun) conversations would be caught on camera, and edited into a show.

It was kinda/sorta loosely based on my old NightTalk TV parties, at which I assembled Pittsburgh movers and shakers to do what is described above.

And that effort, was LOOSELY based on the old Playboy After Dark shows. On shows shows, Truman Capote, Sammy Davis, or some other famous cat was likely to emerge.

At the NightTalk parties, Sophie Masloff was likely the most glamorous guest.

But before we shot an actual pilot, we wanted to do some videotaping of the party host team, myself, and veteran political strategist Kellyanne Conway.

But the project was doomed before it began. Because we were supposed to develop a sort of Regis and Kellyanne chemistry. Maybe more like Morning Joe and Mika, except the political roles switched.

But Kellyanne couldn't. Or wouldn't.

She was so full of partisan vitriol, so full of venom and vinegar, so angry and vicious, that each joking discussion quickly degenerated into a partisan mean spirited argument. Of course, I'll have to take my share of the blame. But she seemed either to be unable to understand the concept, or just too hateful to execute it. I'm betting on the latter. Which is why I'm delighted she's hooked up with Newtie.

Unprincipled evil flamethrowers who will pull made up shit out of their asses to win. Their chief asset is that, even when they're making it up, they really look like they believe it.

This morning on the tube she was tight lipped and obviously making an effort to control her temper. Here's hoping it won't last. Good to see New Booty Newtie is surrounding himself with more angry crazy people.

NEWT GINGRICH: ANGRY CRAZY LEADERSHIP WE CAN BELIEVE IN!

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NEW BOOTY NEWTIE GETS HIS TIT IN A WRINGER! HA HA HA!!!!!!!

2012-01-19T07:01:00.000-08:00

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This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
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As one website put it, HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE MARIANNE GINGRICH!

The bitch is back and this time the bitch (and I use the term affectionately like the kids do... boy am I hep), Marianne Gingrich, New Booty Newtie's second wife (in case you've misplaced your scorecard), has given a lengthy interview to ABC News.

It will air on Nightline Thursday night, To-freaking-night!

Who did the interview? The classic shadowy overly dramatic trench coat wearing eyebrow arching investigative reporter Brian Ross! WHICH. IS. FUCKING. PERFECT!

THIS JUST IN:
Here's a preview:

ABCNEWS:
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/exclusive-gingrich-lacks-moral-character-president-wife/story?id=15392899
video platform video management video solutions video player

ABCNEWS:
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/exclusive-gingrich-lacks-moral-character-president-wife/story?id=15392899
Newt Gingrich lacks the moral character to serve as President, his second ex-wife Marianne told ABC News, saying his campaign positions on the sanctity of marriage and the importance of family values do not square with what she saw during their 18 years of marriage.

In her first television interview since the 1999 divorce, to be broadcast tonight on Nightline, Marianne Gingrich, a self-described conservative Republican, said she is coming forward now so voters can know what she knows about Gingrich.

In her most provocative comments, the ex-Mrs. Gingrich said Newt sought an "open marriage" arrangement so he could have a mistress and a wife.

She said when Gingrich admitted to a six-year affair with a Congressional aide, he asked her if she would share him with the other woman, Callista, who is now married to Gingrich.

"And I just stared at him and he said, 'Callista doesn't care what I do,'" Marianne Gingrich told ABC News. "He wanted an open marriage and I refused."

Oh, and um, it seems New Booty Newtie likes to dump them as soon as its discovered they've contracted a terrible disease.

ABCNEWS:
She said Newt moved for the divorce just months after she had been diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, with her then-husband present.

"He also was advised by the doctor when I was sitting there that I was not to be under stress. He knew," she said.

Gingrich divorced his first wife, Jackie, as she was being treated for cancer. His relationship with Marianne began while he was still married to Jackie but in divorce proceedings, Marianne said.

She's kinda still bitter about him running around giving family values speeches WHILE he was having an affair with his now current wife.

THEDAILYBEAST.COM:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2012/01/19/marianne-gingrich-speaks.html

[Marianne] called a minister they both trusted. He came over to the house the next day and worked with them the whole weekend, but Gingrich just kept saying she was a Jaguar and all he wanted was a Chevrolet. " 'I can't handle a Jaguar right now.' He said that many times. 'All I want is a Chevrolet.' "

He asked her to just tolerate the affair, an offer she refused.

He'd just returned from Erie, Pennsylvania, where he'd given a speech full of high sentiments about compassion and family values.

The next night, they sat talking out on their back patio in Georgia. She said, "How do you give that speech and do what you're doing?"

"It doesn't matter what I do," he answered. "People need to hear what I have to say. There's no one else who can say what I can say. It doesn't matter what I live."

New Booty Newtie did NOT put the hip in Hypocrite! The pumpkin headed windbag is one of the worst examples of what's wrong with our political system in history.

She's pissed off that he was fucking a Congressional staffer while he was married to her, and that he used some lamo automobile analogy to try to explain to some preacher why he had to dump her. Then he said, c'mon dude, just let me fuck her! That's reasonable, right?

That's why SHE'S pissed off. I'M pissed off because this asshole held the entire country hostage by cranking up the unbelievably bogus Clinton Impeachment WHILE HE WAS FUCKING CALISTA THE CONGRESSIONAL STAFFER!

We have short memories. We've been through a stolen election, an unnecessary war, the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, and whatever shit went wrong in your personal life, since then.

But for MONTHS these raging Republican assholes, the ultimate family values hypocrites, tried to dress up Congressional hearings on Clinton bonking an intern, as if they mattered. As if an impeachable offense had been committed.

This was a huge waste of time and money. The hypocrisy later revealed was shocking, yet somehow, expected. Judiciary Committee Chairman Henry Hyde and Speaker Robert Livingston were both exposed as adulterers. Hustler publisher Larry Flynt exposed them by offering money for dirt, and man, the dirt was flying.

Bill was acquitted in the Senate, because the Senate still had some grownups. Not hypocritical assholes willing to hold the country hostage for cheap political gain.

The country saw through it, and Clinton is now everybody's freaking hero.

The bogus Clinton Impeachment was the beginning of the modern day surge of the far right, which has crippled our country, because of the inability of millions of Americans to see the truth... that despite the fact that they cloak themselves in red, white, and blue, they are hysterically hypocritical whores from hell.

Wake up Tea Partiers. These people are NOT who you think they are.

GAWKER.COM:
http://gawker.com/5877411
The Gingrich camp has pulled out all the stops in deflecting and delaying the controversy from hitting. Gingrich's two daughters from his first marriage sent a letter to ABC News pleading with them not to air it. The New York Times quotes from it at length:

"ABC News or other campaigns may want to talk about the past, just days before an important primary election,'' they wrote, adding that their father's campaign would concentrate on issues important to voters.

"The failure of a marriage is a terrible and emotional experience for everyone involved. Anyone who has had that experience understands it is a personal tragedy filled with regrets, and sometimes differing memories of events."

"We will not say anything negative about our father's ex-wife," the statement continued. "He has said before, privately and publicly, that he regrets any pain he may have caused in the past to people he loves."

Right. Marital woes are a terrible thing. Gingrich sure felt differently about the private lives of politicians back in 1998. From the above linked article:

The speaker (Gingrich) once again pledged to say during every public appearance that Americans have the right to know the truth about the Lewinsky matter and that the president is not above the law.

Remember that? How we all DESERVE to know the truth about a consensual affair between two consenting adults that had NOTHING to do with running the country?

Look at the quote above where Marianne says Newtie is totally disconnected from reality.

Fuck someone else while preaching family values? It's ok.

Do what I say, not who I do.

This pompous jackass is more full of "pious baloney" than a dozen wealthy Ken Dolls.

I'll betcha ten thousand dollars that this interview hurts and hurts badly.

This actually bodes well for Santorum. Frothy Mix is fading, but if Marianne takes out New Booty, Frothy could surge once more.

Marianne has said in the past that she could end Newtie's career with one interview. From your lips to Gawd's ears.

Afterwards, you could loan Hell some fury, if you're feeling charitable.

Mostly I'm just happy as hell that Professor Loudmouth's hypocrisy is catching up with him once again. Politicians have egos dwarfing any of the major planets, and those who run for President should lend their heads to Macy's for the Thanksgiving day parade.

But never has there been a windbag more full of his alleged wonderfulness than Newt Gingrich. He is a disgrace to politics, to this country, and to humanity.

Americans are so Goddamn dumb to even give this long discredited douche the time of day. But that's what you get when the whole damn nation has A.D.D.

Hopefully that will work in our favor, and after a scandalous flameout, Newtie will be relegated to the dustbin of history.

And he'll be the fattest most disgusting most hypocritical dust bunny in the bin.

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NEXT SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT JANUARY 28TH! CABARET THEATER DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH! 10:30 PM!
TOPIC- LACK OF CIVILITY. WHEN DID WE ALL BECOME SUCH A-HOLES? (Not to put too fine a point on it). ANNOUNCEMENT OF PANELISTS TO COME! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE!

ONCE YOU GO BLACK... (WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK).

2012-01-18T05:43:00.000-08:00

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Yo WTF'ers.

Today we are fading to black. We are against SOSA AND PIPA. We're gittin all protesty on your butts. 'Cause, as they say in the 'Burgh, we're all rebellious n'at.

We're also really tired of RIPA. But the fourth hour of the Today Show also sucks and I've already seen Chuck Todd's clips on Morning Joe.

Why should we be against SOSA and PIPA?

'Cause all the cool kids say it'll hurt the little people on the Innertubes. And you can't get much littler than moi. As my girfriend likes to remind me. She also doesn't like SOSA/PIPA.

Plus, when you consider SOSA was on steroids the whole time, and there you have it.

Alec Baldwin just came out against them on Twitter. Is he cool?

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CBSNEWS.COM:
http://www.cbsnews.com/8301-503544_162-57360665-503544/sopa-pipa-what-you-need-to-know/
The impacts could go beyond the economy, some argue. Rebecca MacKinnon, a senior fellow at the nonpartisan New America Foundation, argues that if blogging platforms are motivated to monitor their content, that could have "a tremendous chilling effect on people tyring to conduct political discourse and trying to use content in a fair use context."
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See? It could be dangerous and stuff. So just to be extra protesty, we're gonna leave a big ol' blank section of pure black below this yammering part. Because, I guess, we haven't really gone black yet. 'Cause I'm still typing.

To put a more topical spin on it, we'll not only go black, we'll go BLAH, in honor of Sticky Rick Santorum's desire to help BLAH people get jobs and get off welfare.

'Cause once you go BLAH you never go BAH. Which I guess means you no longer desire sheep. And since Sticky Ricky hates him some beastiality, it all works out.

If Sticky Rick places well in S.C., do you think he'll have a shit eatin' grin like the cat who swallowed the Santorum?

Meet the new Froth. Same as the old Froth.

Da Who?

AND....... FADE TO BLAH.... ------------------------------------------------

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Wow. That was intense.

Next Comedy Show Sat. Jan 28th Cabaret Theater 655 Penn Ave. Downtown Pittsburgh, 10:30 PM

DANGEROUSLY LIVE COMEDY/TALK TOPIC - CIVILITY... WE AIN'T GOT NONE NO MO

Featured Comedian Gab Bonesso

King of Civilization Dr. Cyril Wecht.

P.G. Political Cartoonist Rob Rogers

#FadeToBlah

WHY OBAMA DOESN'T SUCK

2012-01-17T07:29:00.000-08:00

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This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
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UP A LAZY RIVER OF BLOGGERY DOGGERY DO

This is a lazy man's blog today. Because I couldn't possibly explain why Barack Hussein Obama doesn't suck as well as conservative blogger/journalist Andrew Sullivan.

If you're too lazy to read the damn article (I can hardly chastise your lethargy since all I'm doing is essentially linking to Andrew today), I'll sum it up for you, though I seriously recommend you actually read the damn thing.

Why doesn't Obama suck?

What has he done that is non-sucky?

According to Mr. Sullivan:

*Unlike FDR, Johnson, and Clinton, passed a version of universal health care.

*The stimulus package, according to mainstream economists, DID save us from the next Great Depression. And believe me, as much as the economy blows, the next Great Depression would have been worse.

*Has cut taxes. That's right, contrary to GOP lies, he has NOT raised taxes. Taxes have been cut.

*Bailed out the auto industry, which worked, saving thousands of jobs while the economy was in the shitter.

*Continued the Bush bank bailout which, while annoying since some of those bastards should hang, largely worked and most of the money has been repaid to the Treasury.

*We are now adding jobs... not enough and not fast enough... but there is month after month of job growth. To some degree, the Stimulus (though it took its sweet time) worked.

*He has ended torture by ordering the American military to knock it the fuck off.
(I know he hasn't closed Gitmo but he can't do that without Congress which has not cooperated).

*Ended Don't Ask/Don't Tell.

*Stopped the Justice Department from defending The Defense Of Marriage Act, which is taking a huge hit in the courts.

*Got Osama, overruling (says Sullivan) Biden and Clinton by ordering the raid, and even personally ordered the additional helicopters which made the raid a success.

*Captured or killed other top terrorists.

*Found a treasure trove of intelligence at Osama's hideaway.

*Some other stuff I'm tired of typing.

NEWSWEEK ANDREW SULLIVAN:
http://www.thedailybeast.com/newsweek/2012/01/15/andrew-sullivan-how-obama-s-long-game-will-outsmart-his-critics.html
All these decisions deserve scrutiny. And in retrospect, they were far more successful than anyone has yet fully given Obama the credit for. The job collapse bottomed out at the beginning of 2010, as the stimulus took effect. Since then, the U.S. has added 2.4 million jobs. That’s not enough, but it’s far better than what Romney would have you believe, and more than the net jobs created under the entire Bush administration. In 2011 alone,

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NEXT SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT JANUARY 28TH! CABARET THEATER DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH! 10:30 PM!
TOPIC- LACK OF CIVILITY. WHEN DID WE ALL BECOME SUCH A-HOLES? (Not to put too fine a point on it). ANNOUNCEMENT OF PANELISTS TO COME! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE!

WHAT WOULD M.L.K. SAY?

2012-01-16T10:08:00.000-08:00

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This WTF brought to you by, Izzazu, where bad Pittsburgh hair goes to dye.
www.Izzazu.com

Seriously. Is the world getting better on its record of civil rights?

We're currently negotiating with the Taliban for a possible peace treaty. This is the bunch that stones women who are raped because they had the nerve to be raped. Israeli Orthodox Jews are spitting on young women they deem scantily clad.

Scantily lace, and a perty face, and a pony tail, hangin' down... this is not the stuff of proper attire according to the cavemen, uh, Orthodox Jews of Israel.

As you can tell, I tend to think about womens' rights in the context of civil rights.

But let's move on to MLK's home country. What would Martin say if he heard Rick Santorum say that "blah" people need a paycheck, not a welfare check?

The great majority of us would prefer the former of course. But reality has nothing to do with insanity. Particularly frothy insanity.

We pause now to state the obvious, which we feel we are very good at doing.

Rick Santorum's "blah" people quote (by the way he DID say black, and it's a fact, and it's on tape, but I assume if you're reading this blog you already know that) and subsequent denial has got to be the SINGLE STUPIDEST LIE IN THE HISTORY OF AMERICAN POLITICS.

I mean, even dumber than Dick Nixon's "I am not a crook." Because he wasn't. He was the head of a criminal enterprise that burglarized the political offices of opponents looking for intelligence. I don't think that technically makes Tricky Dick a "crook" per se.

But screw Tricky Dick (we did that), let's get back to Sticky Rick. How does the news media let him get away with this blatant lie? Instead of calling him out for being a ridiculous liar, they just raise an eyebrow or two. That's what passes for reporting these days.

The point is, he's just appealing to that old school G.O.P. racism. By the way, I'm aware that there are many Democratic racists as well. They're often called Reagan Democrats, and they still believe that old welfare queen lie.

But at least the Democratic party leaders don't talk in racist code in order to attract votes. Republicans do because, well, because it works. Because racist voters in South Carolina might just go for Sticky Rick because they like the cut of his frothy jib. Or they just like his racism.

And what would MLK say about a Presidential candidate from Texas who once hunted at the family ranch called Niggerhead?

Would he find it surprising that this is a mere blip on the radar screen and that that candidate is still considered legit?

Sure, he's flaming out because he'a s fucking idiot and everybody knows it, but why didn't he flame out early after the family ranch name was revealed?

How would Dr. King feel about the lack of national outrage about blatant racism from would-be national leaders?

How about that Ron Paul? Racist homophobic rants were a feature of his newsletter, the one named after him. Yet he claims he didn't read all the stuff issued under his name before it went out, so it's not his fault that some of his staff writers were homophobic racists? And we don't find that incredulous enough to dismiss this kook?

Not to mention that silly little matter of Ron Paul proposing we repeal the Civil Rights Act of 1964? Because, you know, these days we'd just police ourselves out of the goodness of our hearts.

What would Martin say about New Booty Newtie calling Barack Obama "the food stamp President" ? Yeah, um, no hidden meaning there. Nothing to see here. Move along.

Dr. King might have been a bit disappointed in Barack Hussein. But like the rest of us, he would have to ask himself, what would you prefer, Hussein or Insane?

Of course there would be no President Obama had it not been for all the work of the good Doctor and his supporters. If you don't think it takes balls to make racially charged civil rights speeches in the middle of Redneckville, U.S.A. in the late 60's, then... then... well, I got no then, but you get the drift.

Dr. King, I presume (and this is an awfully big presumption I'm admittedly pulling out of my ass) would HAVE to be disappointed that references to black people as if they're all on welfare, coming from supposedly legit candidates for the Presidency of the United States, in one of the two major political parties still around, are treated as being within bounds. Oh sure, says the MSM, a bit controversial, perhaps a bit over the top, but certainly not a disqualifier.

Happy Martin Luther King Day.

Or is it Sad Martin Luther King Day?

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NEXT SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT JANUARY 28TH! CABARET THEATER DOWNTOWN PITTSBURGH! 10:30 PM!
TOPIC- LACK OF CIVILITY. WHEN DID WE ALL BECOME SUCH A-HOLES? (Not to put too fine a point on it). ANNOUNCEMENT OF PANELISTS TO COME! BE THERE AND BE THEATER SQUARE!